THE HARSH TONGUE

The Harsh Tongue

A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh

word stirs up anger.

Proverbs 15:1




In my impatience and frustration with incom-

petence or low productivity in others, I have some-

times made what some felt were harsh remarks.

When I have worked in a company culture where

termination for poor performance was rare, I felt that

telling the employee the harsh truth was my only

recourse. This imprudent use of my tongue has never yielded positive results.




Solomon says of the wise woman in the book of

Proverbs, “She opens her mouth with wisdom, and

on her tongue is the law of kindness” (Proverbs 31:26). Speaking kindly to others was one of the core principles of this woman’s life. When you really think about it, there is never any justification for being harsh or unkind in our communication. If we claim that God is our Father, we won’t practice such

behavior either. We will deliberately choose words

that are warmhearted, understanding, and sympa-

thetic. As a steward of the grace God has extended

to us, we must in turn extend that same grace to

others. We must cultivate the habit of speaking kind

words especially to those whom we feel may not

deserve it—isn’t that what grace is all about?

Caution! This does not mean that we are to bury our

heads in the sand and refuse to deal with problem-

atic situations. However, before we approach anyone, we must go to God and get His words, which always get the desired results. “So is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it” (Isaiah 55:11). We cannot achieve God’s purpose while being harsh.




There are various degrees of harshness, with

verbal abuse being at the extreme end of the spec-

trum. The old saying, “Sticks and stones may break

my bones, but words can never harm me” is totally

untrue. Harsh words never die, and they can impact

a person for a lifetime. Many who are considered

society’s outcasts today have been victims of verbal

abuse at some point during their lives. Their per-

petrators include parents, teachers, insecure spouses, and others who may have been battling their own emotional issues. If you find that you are prone to speaking harshly when angry, begin to seek God for deliverance. Whatever it takes, including enrolling in anger management classes, do it. Solomon said,“He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city” (Proverbs 16:32). You can begin to take control over that destructive behavior by the power of the Holy Spirit.




Remember that cutting words can never be re-

covered, so don’t let harshness or verbal abuse be

named among your character traits. Make a decision

that kindness will be one of the core principles of

your life.




Today’s Affirmation:

I open my mouth with wisdom. The

law of kindness is on my tongue