THE INTIMIDATING TONGUE

The Intimidating Tongue

The Philistine said to David, “Come to me, and I

will give your flesh to the birds of the air and the

beasts of the field!”

1 Samuel 17:44




Goliath thought killing David was going to be a

piece of cake since David was such an inexperienced warrior.Notwithstanding,Goliath decided to employ a little verbal intimidation before he triumphed over him. He engaged in name-calling, used threatening language, and tried to minimize David’s potential—

all standard tactics for the effective intimidator.

David’s response was not at all what Goliath expected.

Rather than succumbing to fear, he assertively

declared his faith in his God.

David said to the Philistine, “You come

against me with sword and spear and

javelin, but I come against you in the name

of the LORD Almighty, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied. This day

the LORD will hand you over to me, and I’ll

strike you down and cut off your head”

(1 Samuel 17:45-46).




The intimidator counts on his victim to wilt in

the face of a verbal attack. That’s why sometimes

(when it is safe) you have to let an intimidator know

you refuse to be oppressed by him and that you do

indeed have the God-given strength to resist his tactics. I worked on a major project once with a construction manager who attempted to intimidate

almost everyone involved by yelling at them. He

would often become belligerent during key negotiations. His tactics worked on most of the subcontractors and other workers. One day he decided to target me for one of his tirades. He yelled like a spoiled baby who had lost his pacifier. I waited

patiently while he ranted. When he finished, I calmly

responded, “I suppose I should let you know that

your yelling has absolutely no impact on me. I don’t

know anybody who can intimidate me. God is the

only one I will ever fear.” Even though he continued

to be a test to my patience during the rest of the

project, he soon learned that his intimidating style

was not going to advance his ball down my court,

especially since I was the one controlling payments


to everyone, including him! While it may be scary

to confront intimidating bullies, they will often

quickly back down when someone stands up to

them.




God has never meant for anyone to oppress or

dominate another person. Note that in the Garden

of Eden, He gave Adam and Eve dominion over the

fish, fowl, and animals—not over each other or other

people.




God blessed them and said to them, “Be

fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth

and subdue it. Rule over the fish of the sea

and the birds of the air and over every living

creature that moves on the ground” (Genesis 1:28).




Although it can be a precursor to—but usually

stops short of—physical violence, verbal intimida-

tion can have a severe physical and emotional impact on its target. Many victims suffer from headaches, anxiety, nervousness, insomnia, stress, fatigue, low self-esteem, and depression. This is not how God intended His children to affect each other’s lives.




Intimidators would do well to understand that

their communication style only engenders resent-

ment and subtle rebellion. They must learn that

people are more inspired to connect with someone who will support them in their weaknesses. I marvel

at the outpouring of support for Joel Osteen, who

assumed the pastorate of Lakewood Church in

Houston, Texas, after the death of his father. He had

only worked in the media department of the church

and had never preached before. Suddenly, he found

himself thrust into the awesome task of leading a

well-established, nationally recognized ministry.




Rather than coming in like the new sheriff in town,

he humbly accepted his new position, asked for the

support and prayers of the congregation, and now

has the one of the largest churches and television

broadcasts in the United States. I have even heard

nonchurchgoers speak of their admiration and sup-

port for him.




If you are an intimidator, it is time to get in touch

with why you feel you need to gain power or con-

trol over others. You may need a good professional

counselor to help you get to the root cause. Many

intimidators grew up in chaotic or otherwise nega-

tive environments in which they felt powerless to

change their circumstances. They vowed they would

never allow their lives to be so out of control again,

so they seek control. Others are simply a bundle of

insecurities and use intimidation as a façade to mask

their fears. Whatever the cause, intimidators can never hope to have a meaningful relationship with

anyone who is forced into submission.




Today’s Affirmation:

Because God is in control of every

aspect of my life and has set my des-

tiny, I have no need to control the

behavior of other