THE MALE AND HIS SEX LIFE!!!!

Genesis chapter 1










Today we are walking in: The Male And His Sex Life!!!










Today we look to the word-COVENANT-H1285 bĕriyth--covenant, alliance, pledge; between men; constitution, ordinance (monarch to subjects); covenant (divine ordinance with signs or pledges)














The Torah testifies...............








Deuteronomy 4:13




And he declared unto you his covenant, H1285 which he commanded you to perform, even ten commandments; and he wrote them upon two tables of stone.









The prophets proclaim..................








Isaiah 24:5




The earth also is defiled under the inhabitants thereof; because they have transgressed the laws, changed the ordinance, broken the everlasting covenant. H1285










The writings bear witness...........................






2 Kings 17:38




And the covenant H1285 that I have made with you ye shall not forget; neither shall ye fear other gods.







A Man and His Sex Life




Sex Is a Physical Sign of a Spiritual Act—The Giving of Oneself Completely to Another and for Another.




Understanding the sexual nature of the male is essential for any man who wants to know his purpose in Yah. Unfortunately, sexuality is often extremely misunderstood—not only in the world, but also in the community. I am deeply concerned about the damage this lack of understanding about sex has done—and is doing—to people‘s lives. It has led to confusion, misunderstanding, and broken relationships between men and women. It has prevented males from living up to their full potential as men and husbands. It has destroyed marriages—and lives. My prayer is that men and women will find wholeness in Yah as they understand His purpose and plan for human sexuality.




How We Learn about Sex




How did you first learn about sexuality? When I‘ve asked men in my seminars how they were introduced to the concept of sex, they‘ve listed various sources, such as:




• friends or peers




• movies and television




• books about biology




• pornographic magazines or videos




• sexual experimentation during youth




Unfortunately, most of us were introduced to sex through one of these avenues. No one ever says he learned about sex from his parents. Something is very wrong with how we are learning about sexuality. Look at the above list again. Note that not one of these sources is qualified to provide accurate information:




Friends or peers: Friends provide mainly hearsay. They are still trying to figure out what sex is all about themselves.




Movies and television: Many people experience sexual frustration because they have developed wrong ideas and unrealistic expectations from watching movies and television. The nature of the entertainment media is fantasy, and its depiction of sexuality is often false and destructive to real relationships.




Books on biology: These books provide mainly the technical aspects of the experience. They don‘t describe the emotional, psychological, and spiritual aspects.




Pornographic magazines or videos: Pornography is designed to promote sexual fantasy and deviation—to addict people to it, in order to perpetuate the porn industry. Its purpose is to make money rather than to instruct. As a matter of fact, if you were to follow its suggestions, you would subject yourself and whomever you‘re involved with to perversion. Pornographic images are especially dangerous because they often become imprinted on people‘s minds and can be a spiritual stronghold.




Experimentation during youth: Experimenting with sex with no understanding of its purpose and nature is no way for a young person to be introduced to something as precious and as dangerous as sex. Moreover, when you participate in something, you are creating a capacity for it. When you create a capacity for it, you want to satisfy that desire. Yet once the desires have been created, your appetite for them grows. It increases by use.




Ignorance about Sexuality




How a person has learned about sex determines, to a large extent, how he engages in it. Some of you are suffering right now from the consequences of uninformed or unwise sexual activity.




When we receive our information about sex from one or more of the above sources, then pass along this information to others, we perpetrate cultural ignorance about sexuality. This is what has been happening in our societies. Much of what we have learned about sex has been acquired in an unwholesome context, and it is filled with misinformation. Men and women lack positive, informed teaching on the subject of sexuality.




Much of the blame for this lack of teaching rests with the community and the home. In general, the message we‘ve heard from our communityes and families is that sex is unholy or dirty and should not be discussed. Have you ever gone to community and heard the minister say, ―Our message today is sex? If that were to happen, people might be shocked, but I don‘t believe they would leave. People are really hurting in the area of sexuality, and they want to know what Yah has to say about it. Yet somehow the community has decided it‘s not proper to discuss the topic. In addition, young people get the idea that parents and children aren‘t supposed to talk about sex, because their own parents didn‘t discuss it with them. In this way, they are prevented from expressing their sexual questions in the context of a loving home or community, and they seek information from other sources.




What can we do? First, we shouldn‘t condemn ourselves for the situation we‘re in, because this is the way we were brought up, and this is also how most of our parents were raised. The answer lies in renewing our minds by Yah‘s Word—for the sake of our own sexual wholeness, and so our children will not grow up receiving sexual instruction from unqualified and harmful sources, but rather from parents who understand Yah‘s plan for sexuality.




No one has a right to shape your child‘s concept and attitudes about sex, except you. Make sure that a questionable sex education class or Playboy isn‘t your child‘s teacher. Train your child in the way he should go. Then, when a friend or teacher starts to say something erroneous about sex, your child can dismiss it, with the knowledge, ―That isn‘t what my parents told me.




Yah Created Sex




First, we must realize that Yah is not negative about sex. He created it. (See Genesis 1:28.) Sex is Yah‘s idea, not man‘s idea. It is such a beautiful expression of love and giving that only Yah could have thought of it. Men and women were designed as sexual beings. Every baby is born as a sexual creature with the potential to have a sexual relationship as an adult. Yah is negative only about the misuse of sex, because it harms the people He created to have a fulfilling relationship with the opposite sex. Second, we must realize that the Bible itself is very open about the subject of sexuality. The main theme of the book of Song of Solomon is sexual love.




Why did Yah create sex? The primary reason is that unity is a central aspect of Yah‘s nature and purposes. In the Bible, the sexual union of marriage is used as a metaphor to describe the intimacy between Hamachiach and the community. Hamachiach being called the Bridegroom and the Ekklesia being called the bride gives us an idea of the preciousness with which Yah views sex. It as a symbol of His oneness with His beloved humanity, who have been created in His image and redeemed through His love.




Sex Is Good




How do we know that sex is a good thing? Genesis 1:31 says, “Yah saw all that he had made, and it was very good.” Yah created man and woman and their sexual nature. Therefore, He said that sex is “very good.”




Those who have studied the human body say that the most pleasurable physical experience in life is sexual climax. It can hardly be compared with anything else. Yet today, the misuse of sex has become one of the worst enemies of man. It is the cause of broken homes, illegitimate children, child pornography, and billions of dollars worth of government social programs. What Yah designed to be a high and good pleasure has become a base element of destruction. We must regain an understanding of Yah‘s good purposes for sexuality.




The Sexual Design




Yah designed sex within marriage for these reasons: (1) to procreate the human race, (2) to seal a blood covenant between two humans, and (3) to allow sex to be enjoyed to its maximum potential without repercussions.




1. To Procreate the Human Race




After Yah created male and female (Gen. 1:27), He blessed them and said, “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it” (v. 28). There is only one way to “be fruitful and increase in number.” Yah was telling them, in effect, ―Go for it. Don‘t just have a few children. Fill the earth.




2. To Seal a Blood Covenant between Two Humans




The Bible says, “A man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh” (Gen. 2:24). Sexual intercourse constitutes making yourself “one flesh” with another person. This term refers to a fleshly (physical) or sexual covenant.




Did you know that the covering of the female‘s vagina has no biological or medical purpose? Yet medical science has discovered that that little layer of skin has one of the highest concentrations of blood vessels in the body. The only thing that comes from that layer of skin is blood.




Let‘s think about the significance of this fact. The strongest form of covenant in the Bible is the blood covenant, and Yah has designed the sexual experience as a type of blood covenant. That is why sex must be engaged in only in the context of marriage—a solemn, life-long commitment between two people before Yah. That is also why there are such serious warnings in Scripture concerning not having sex with just anybody. The Scripture says that if you have sex with a prostitute, you have joined yourself to her in a covenant. Even after you‘ve paid her the money and gone, you still remain with her in some sense—and she with you.




3. To Allow Sex to Be Enjoyed to Its Maximum Potential without Repercussions




In Deuteronomy, we find a remarkable Scripture: “If a man has recently married, he must not be sent to war or have any other duty laid on him. For one year he is to be free to stay at home and bring happiness to the wife he has married” (Deut. 24:5). That is Yah‘s Word.




Imagine, Yah wanted young married couples to enjoy sex so much that He issued a decree to ensure that it was provided for. The very thing we think Yah is against, He promoted. A newly married man was to have no other responsibilities during his first year of marriage but to bring his wife happiness. He would stay with her and just bless her. I think we should adopt that provision today.




Note that it doesn‘t say the husband is to bring happiness to himself, but to his wife. Lust focuses on itself, but true love focuses on the other person. Yah was saying to the husband, ―Your desire in marriage should be to make your wife happy. Now, when you make your wife happy, guess who wins? You both do. When you give, you receive.




Yah established marriage so the sexual relationship can be full of pleasure—not repercussions and remorse. Yah is not against sex. He‘s against the violation of the sexual boundaries He‘s established for our own good.




In order to fulfill our highest potential, we have to follow the laws that Yah gave us. Men, if you can grasp this point, you‘ll understand how easy it is to live in a Yahly way in the area of sexuality. Yah‘s laws are for our protection, not our restriction. His boundaries have been established for our preservation, not our irritation. We think Yah doesn‘t want us to have any fun. In reality, He is really trying to protect us. Whenever we break a law or violate a principle of Yah, we invite spiritual death and suffering.




Protective Boundaries of Sexuality




Yah wants us to enjoy sex so much that He has told us what its safe boundaries are. The primary boundary is the marriage covenant.




The Scripture we just looked at said that a man is to “bring happiness to the wife he has married” (Deut. 24:5). It doesn‘t say to move in with somebody for a year and try things out. There are no provisionary covenants. Solomon said, “May you rejoice in the wife of your youth....May her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be captivated by her love” (Prov. 5:18–19). This passage is a reference to sex. Enjoy “the wife of your youth”—not someone else. There is a vacuum in the male that needs to be filled by the female. And Yah says, ―Make sure your wife fills that vacuum.




[Adam] said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called „woman,‟ for she was taken out of man.” For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. (Gen. 2:23–24)

“For this reason.” For what reason should a man leave? To “be united.” To whom? His wife. The minute that law is vi- olated, we begin to reap the repercussions. Verse 24 says, “And they will become one flesh.” The boundaries that Yah has established for the one-flesh experience is the husband and wife relationship.




Marriage enables us to enjoy sex to the fullest. How does a young man who has just been married feel after he has had sex with his wife on their honeymoon? Totally at peace. He doesn‘t care if people talk about what he and his wife did. He has no embarrassment about it or fear of being caught. There is so much freedom within the laws of Yah. Yet when you violate Yah‘s laws, the first thing you lose is your peace.




Doing What Is Permissible versus Beneficial




In 1 Corinthians 6:12, Paul said, “Everything is permissible for me. That means I can do anything I want. Yet he continued, “But not everything is beneficial.” Your right to do something is not what is important. What‘s good for you is what‘s important. Your understanding of the benefits or drawbacks of something allows you to determine if it is good for you.




“The body is not meant for sexual immorality” (v. 13). The Scripture doesn‘t say the body is not meant for sex. Nor does it say people don‘t use the body for immorality. It simply says the body is not meant for immorality. This is one of Yah‘s sexual laws, which He gives us for our good.




Someone may say, ―Oh, come on. When a man goes to bed with a woman, whether it‘s moral or immoral, it feels good. Our justification and rationalization for immorality is, ―It feels good. But Yah says, ―I‘m not dealing with feeling good. I‘m dealing with what your body was made for. It was made for sex, but not for immoral sex.




Something negative happens in a man‘s body when he has an immoral sexual experience. If the body was not created for it, then something goes wrong when it is subjected to it. This is why a man may feel guilty after such a sexual experience, whether he admits it or not. Men who participate in immorality may even begin to hate their sexual partners, not wanting anything to do with them any longer.




What has happened? Their bodies were not made for immorality. Somehow the knowledge that they broke the law of Yah is translated into chemicals in their bodies, and they feel bad. Science has proven that there are a few things our bodies are not built to handle. One of them is guilt. Our bodies have no hormone, enzyme, or chemical to handle guilt. Only the blood of Yahusha can free us from guilt.




“The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Most High” (v. 13). What is your body made for? It is made for Yah. It was created to be used in the context that Yah has already established. Yah placed specific boundaries on sexual behavior, and we can have all the fun we want within that context. We won‘t experience these negative repercussions if we stay within Yah‘s plan.




Let me say here that Yah has created males and females to express sexuality in a specific way. Yah never gave Adam a man; He gave him a woman. Yah‘s design is male and female; not male and male, or female and female. We can know that homosexuality is not Yah‘s plan because it does not fit His design.




Verse 13 continues, ―And the Most High [is meant] for the body. The Most High made the body for Himself. Yah is not against your having sex. In fact, He ought to be present in your marriage to bless your sexual union. Proverbs 10:22 says, “The blessing of the Most High, it maketh rich, and he addeth no sorrow with it” (KJV). You can have a rich sex life without sorrow when you follow His plan.




In 1 Corinthians 6:15–18, Paul also said,




Do you not know that your bodies are members of Hamachiach himself? Shall I then take the members of Hamachiach and unite them with a prostitute? Never! Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, “The two will become one flesh.” But he who unites himself with the Most High is one with him in spirit. Flee from sexual immorality.




In the Greek, the word translated “flee” means, ―Run away. Shun. Escape. In other words, avoid it like the plague. How do you respond to plagues? You get as far away from them as you can. You insulate yourself from them.




“All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body” (v. 18). Paul was saying, ―If you steal, it is outside the body. If you fight, it is outside the body. If you curse, it is outside the body. You don‘t become one with a person when you slap or curse that person. But when you have sex with a woman, you can‘t separate yourself from her. Remember that sexual intercourse is a covenant. Some men can‘t understand how a couple can sleep together for a time, and then, when they both decide to break off the relationship, they have trouble going their separate ways. It is because the separation causes real trauma in their souls. This is a serious matter. That‘s why relationships outside Yah‘s plan can be so dangerous.




Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from Yah? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor Yah with your body. (1 Cor. 6:19–20)




Your body belongs to Yah twice. He didn‘t just create you; He also bought you, and the price was high. Your body is Yah‘s property. How can you honor Yah with your body? First, by waiting until you‘re married to engage in sex, and second, by having sex only with your wife. You are Yah‘s temple. You lift up your hands to worship Yah; you can use those same hands to caress your wife. Both acts are holy in His sight.




What’s Love Got to Do with It?




Sex is a physical sign of a spiritual act—the giving of oneself completely to another and for another. Marital love is the binding of one spouse to another. Today, people are looking for sex without love, love without marriage, and marriage without responsibility. The world‘s idea of sex is shallow and distorted. The world says, ―Make love. Yah says, ―Love. We have confused sex with love. It‘s one thing to know how to make love to someone; it‘s quite another to actually love someone. ―Let‘s make love refers to a performance. It means to go do something. ―Making love is merely a technical experience, whereas loving is a spiritual act. If sex produced love, no one in the world would feel more love than prostitutes.




Yet prostitutes have among the highest rates of suicide.




Love is the desire to please another, the total giving of oneself to another, not the taking of something. Someone once asked me, ―What happens when a person gets married to someone who is an invalid or who is paralyzed? What kind of sex life do they have? The answer is very simple. They understand that marriage is for love, not just sex. Its foundation should be love. There are many ways to express love and physical affection; sex is just one of them. People can find complete fulfillment in one another without having the technical experience that our culture glorifies so much, because their relationship goes beyond the bedroom. To me, that‘s a real relationship. Sex was given by Yah to help express love, not to create it.




Anyone who gets married for sexual reasons alone has already paved the way for failure, because sexual desire fluctuates. It grows, peaks, then dies down. If you base your relationship solely on sex, your relationship will also peak and die.




If sex is so important, why does it diminish with age? Yah expects that as the marriage grows, what we enjoy during the first years of marriage will become less important, and the real relationship will begin to develop. Yah says, ―Enjoy the sexual aspect of your marriage, but move toward an even deeper union as husband and wife based on My unconditional love.




Paul said, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Hamachiach loved the Ekklesia and gave himself up for her” (Eph. 5:25). He was saying, in effect, ―The only picture I can use to describe Yahusha and the Ekklesia is the relationship between a devoted husband and wife. The highest witness for Hamachiach that you can give is not preaching, but loving your wife as Hamachiach loved the Ekklesia.




We need real men in our communities—men of the Word who know what true love is. No one can understand the deep meaning of Yahusha and the community better than a man who has a good sexual relationship with his wife. Sexual experience can be a model of Hamachiach‘s love for His bride, the Ekklesia, if we follow Yah‘s original plan for sexuality.