THE SEXUAL TRAPS OF MEN!!!!

Genesis chapter 1










Today we are walking in: The Sexual Traps Of Men!!!!










Today we look to the word LOVE --H157 - 'ahab --a primitive root; to have affection for:—be loved, lovely, like, friend.






The Torah testifies.........……




Exodus 20:6

And shewing mercy unto thousands of them that love H157 me, and keep my commandments.




Deuteronomy 6:5

And thou shalt love H157 the Lord thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might.









The prophets proclaim..................




Joshua 23:11

Take good heed therefore unto yourselves, that ye love H157 the Lord your God.





Micah 6:8

He hath shewed thee, O man, what is good; and what doth the Lord require of thee, but to do justly, and to love H157 mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God?











The writings bear witness............




Proverbs 17: 9

He that covereth a transgression seeketh love H157; but he that repeateth a matter separateth very friends.







Sexual Traps of Men




Because sexual sin can be such a temptation for men, I now want to discuss specific sexual traps males fall into and how they can be avoided. Some of you are on the verge of falling into one of these sexual traps. You are going through a crisis you don‘t want your wife to know about. Yet you can remain faithful to Yah and your spouse by being aware of these pitfalls and standing strong against them.




Most men want to do what is right. However, many voices beckon them to abandon what is true and good. These voices are the opponents of, self-discipline, and responsibility. They attack men‘s desire to live righteously. As a man, you can be tempted. You can be kept safe only by knowing what the Word of Yah says about these temptations and by applying some common sense. Some people think the Ruach Hackodesh is automatically going to keep them from falling into these traps. As we‘ll see, while the Ruach Hackodesh is always with us to help us, He also expects us to exercise self-control.




Trap #1: Misunderstanding the Sexual Difference between Males and Females




We learned in an earlier teaching that the male is physically designed to be a giver. Men are almost always ready to give sexually. This is natural. It is how Yah made them.




The female is physically designed to be a receiver. However, her design is different from the male in that she is not always ready to receive, because her body operates on a cycle. She is more receptive on certain days and at certain times. Because of this tendency, she needs to be treated with kindness and sensitivity by her husband. When men don‘t understand this sexual difference between males and females, and they expect women to function in the same way they do, they become frustrated. The result can be misunderstanding, resentment, and the desire to look for a person whom they feel will be more receptive.




In addition to her cycle, fatigue and stress may also prevent a woman from being ready to receive. Let‘s look at things from her viewpoint for a moment. How can a wife be expected to be relaxed, sensitive, and pleasing to her husband right after she comes home from a hard day‘s work? That is a serious demand. She comes home tired, and her husband expects her to greet him at the door, saying, ―Hi, honey. I‘ve been waiting for you. I know you‘re tired. Take off your shoes, and put your feet up. Here‘s your big cup of cocoa that you love. Here‘s the newspaper. The news will be on in thirty minutes. I‘m taking the children in the other room so you can listen in peace and quiet. Then I‘m going to serve you a five-course dinner because you work so hard all day.




Many men expect this. Yet how can their wives do all that if they are working just as hard as or maybe even harder than their husbands are? It‘s a tough life. Formerly, when a woman was home all day, she had a little more energy to give to her husband. But nowadays, she needs loving attention herself. Life can be stressful and difficult. You may wonder, ―Why is my relationship with my wife so tense? It may be because of the pace and stress of life.




When a man feels hurt that his wife isn‘t being as receptive as he would like, he sometimes withdraws from her emotionally, creating a distance between them. This separation can lead to a sense of rejection by one or both parties that results in many marital problems, including divorce.




To avoid this sexual trap, you need to accept the fact that your wife is different from you, and learn to work through your differences with patience and love. Also, do what you can to alleviate the tension in her life. In this way, she can be more receptive to you, and you will have a more fulfilling relationship. In addition, read 1 Corinthians 13:4–8 and start putting it into practice:




Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self- seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.




Trap #2: The Voice of Pleasure




The voice of pleasure is like the Sirens of Greek mythology who drew men to their destruction with sweet-sounding songs. Suppose a man has worked in the same job for ten or fifteen years, doing the same routine. After a while, he begins to be attracted to anything he thinks will bring him some pleasure in life.




This is a dangerous situation for a man to be in, because it can lead to infidelity. To avoid this trap, you must be watchful for signs that you are growing weary with life and have started looking to someone other than your wife to bring you pleasure. You must put a guard on your heart and spirit, and look to Yah for renewal during life‘s dry spells. Plan to spend extra time with your wife and become reacquainted with her. Talk with your pastor or other trusted Hebrew men. Go on a spiritual retreat. Ask Yah for a fresh or renewed vision for your life. Break up your routine with a new interest or goal.




In addition, read and meditate on these verses: “You have made known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand” (Ps. 16:11). “„For I know the plans I have for you,‟ declares the Most High, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future‟” (Jer. 29:11).




Trap #3: The Lure of Romanticism




This trap is similar to Trap #2, but it has a subtle difference. It is a search for the romantic or mysterious, in order to bring excitement into a boring lifestyle, put meaning back into life, or dispel a feeling of lost youth. Succumbing to the lure of romanticism makes a man ripe for an extramarital relationship because he thinks that having a romantic relationship with someone new (and therefore ―mysterious) will give him an exciting life. The problem is, the new quickly becomes the familiar, and he will soon need something else to create excitement in his life.




You can avoid this sexual trap by following the same advice given in the previous section. In addition, begin to seek Yah with all your heart. The human desire for excitement and mystery is ultimately meant to be fulfilled in Yah. There is no one like Yah, and we will never come to an end of discovering all the facets of His love and character. In addition, read and meditate on these Scriptures: “Yah has chosen to make known among the Gentiles the glorious riches of this mystery, which is Hamachiach in you, the hope of glory” (Col. 1:27). “[The Most High] redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion, [He] satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle‟s” (Ps. 103:4–5).




Trap #4: The Desire for Extramarital Relationships




Many of you are probably saying to yourselves, ―I‘m a born-again, Spirit-filled, Bible-toting Hebrew. I‘ve never thought about an extramarital affair. Let‘s talk frankly. Men are sexual creatures, and they can be attracted to women other than their wives. A recent study has shown that a man‘s brain has a physiological response to seeing a beautiful woman that is comparable to his response to food. Apparently, when a man sees a beautiful woman, the ―pleasure circuits in his brain react. This is a physical response, part of a male‘s design.




Even Hebrew men who are committed to Yah and their wives must deal with sexual temptation. Paul admitted that Hebrews can be tempted in this way when he said in 1 Corinthians 7:5, “Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that HaSatan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.” Paul was talking to Spirit-filled Corinthian Hebrews. He was saying, ―I know you. You are sexual creatures. Run and find your spouse so you won‘t be tempted. You‘re not made of steel.




How can you overcome the trap of desiring an extramarital relationship? First, recognize that your body reacts to physical beauty. Used in the right context, this reaction draws a man to desire the opposite sex and find a life mate. Used in the wrong context, it can lead to infidelity. If you deny this fact, you won‘t be able to stand strong against temptation.




Second, remember your commitment to Yah to live a holy life and the covenant you made with your wife. We are not to be ruled by our feelings or hormones, but by the Spirit of Yah. As a male, you will be tempted. However, that doesn‘t mean you are going to act on them. You have more sense than that. Or, I should say, you have more knowledge than that—knowledge of what Yah desires for men and women in a marriage covenant.




Marriage is a choice and a commitment. Men are sexual creatures. You see a beautiful woman, and you appreciate beauty, so you say, ―Wow, man! but the Ruach Hackodesh within you says, ―Whoa, man! You need to heed His voice and remain true to our spouses. You shouldn‘t dwell on tempting thoughts or allow them to control you.




Third, do not put yourself in a situation where temptation will become too strong for you. As Paul said, stay close to your wife: “Come together again so that HaSatan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control” (1 Cor. 7:5).




As Hebrew men, you have to come to grips with this desire for extramarital sexual relations. You need to teach young men that sexual attraction is physiological and shouldn‘t be acted upon outside the marriage relationship. This knowledge will help to keep them from succumbing to sexual temptation. One of the most honest things men can tell one another is, ―Brother, I‘m a sexual creature, and I need your support. I need your prayers. We all need each other. Let‘s help one another stay in Yah‘s purposes.




Finally, read and meditate on these verses: “Guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith with the wife of your youth” (Mal. 2:15). “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Most High is to be praised” (Prov. 31:30).




Trap #5: Ego Need




This last trap is the most dangerous, because the greatest of all influences on men is the ego need. This is the desire to be admired and respected by members of the opposite sex. I am sure you have experienced this desire before, and you will experience it again. It doesn‘t matter how much you pray. If a woman works on your ego needs, you‘d better know how to keep yourself pure.




What is harming men in the community right now is a false sense of security based on the idea that once a person is baptized in the Ruach Hackodesh, he is immune from temptations. This just isn‘t true. The Ruach Hackodesh doesn‘t give us character; character is something we are responsible for developing. However, He gives us the strength to withstand temptation, to make it through difficulties and to come out on the other side in victory.




Affairs develop because men want to prove they are still attractive to women. The thrill comes from knowing that someone still finds them romantically appealing. It feels good to a man to know that a woman thinks he‘s intelligent or handsome, that she enjoys talking with him, that she likes the way he thinks, that she finds him exciting to be with. However, if he‘s a married man, and the woman isn‘t his wife, he is in a dangerous situation, because his ego need is being stroked.




Attraction based on ego need usually happens gradually, sometimes without either party realizing it‘s happening. For example, you go to lunch with your secretary and spend just thirty minutes talking with her, but you enjoy her company. Back in the office, she hands you a piece of paper, and you accidentally touch her hand. She smiles. Later, she comes into your office for a report, and says, ―You know, I really think you‘re one of the nicest men I have ever met. If I ever marry a guy, I want him to be just like you. She has made a very innocent statement, and she may be very sincere about it. However, you could now be in trouble, because you are a male, and you have this ego need.




Ego need can make a man behave in foolish and dishonorable ways. It can cause a sane, Spirit-filled, committed, loving Hebrew man to leave his wife for another woman. He‘ll say, ―This woman makes me feel good. Do you hear the ego in that? Some men think they could never fall into this ego trap. Let me tell you: it isn‟t the woman who‟s so strong; it‟s the ego that is weak. Men who decide to leave the path of righteousness in pursuit of other voices rarely make a sudden turn and plunge into error. Instead, they make small, safe departures from what is right, then turn back to evaluate.




They say, ―Hmm, I liked that, but I really shouldn‘t have done it. Remember that once you create a capacity for something, you need more of it to fulfill your desire. So they go out a little farther before coming back. ―Oh, boy, that felt good! But I really shouldn‘t be doing it. They evaluate, and they check to see if anyone is watching what they‘re doing.




Then, seemingly all of sudden, they go out and don‘t come back. They leave their wives. They abandon everybody and everything—Yah, family, friends, job. Friends wonder, ―What happened? He was such a fine young man. What happened is that the infidelity started slowly; he indulged in it to meet his ego needs, until he was overcome by it.




Some of you have also been quietly testing infidelity. I warn you, just as Paul warned: there is only one way for you to keep your sexuality in order. I know you think I‘m going to say prayer. It‘s not prayer. Paul said, “It is Yah‟s will that you...should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable” (1 Thess. 4:3–4).




How can you avoid the trap of ego need? “Each of you should learn to control his own body.” That is how you keep your life straight. Paul didn‘t say, ―Go to prayer meetings, or ―Bind the power of lust. You don‘t bind lust. Yah simply says, ―Control yourself.




I‘ll bet you wish there was an easy way out of this thing. You thought I was going to give you some magic answers to control your lust and your passion for sex. They‘re aren‘t any easy answers. The answer is: behave yourself. End of discussion. Don‘t let a woman take advantage of you—and make sure you don‘t take advantage of a woman‘s feelings for you.




We shouldn‘t think we are so spiritual that we‘re untouchable. Whether you are married or single, when you are tempted to be sexually immoral, run away! Start praying. Avoid contact with the woman. Why? You are living in a body that is designed with complex chemicals and hormones that respond to stimuli from what you see and hear.




Remember that ego need feeds the soul first—even though it leads to bodily sin. Be careful how you respond to a woman‘s praise and attention. If it is starting to lead to inappropriate attraction, you know you need to back off.




Your ego need must be met in Yah and what He says about your value to Him. Read and meditate on this remarkable verse to realize your worth in Yah:




What is man that you are mindful of him, the son of man that you care for him? You made him a little lower than the heavenly beings and crowned him with glory and honor. You made him ruler over the works of your hands; you put everything under his feet. (Ps. 8:4–6)




Your Past Is Not Your Future




No matter what your sexual past has been, you can receive forgiveness and freedom by coming to Hamachiach, repenting of your sin and wrong ways of thinking, and receiving His love and wholeness. Then you can begin to live out His plan for your sexuality. You will become a true light, illuminating Yah‘s ways in the sexual darkness and confusion of our times.




Principles




1. Most of us have learned about sexuality from faulty sources instead of from Yah‘s Word.




2. The community and the family have often given the impression that sex is unholy and should not be discussed.




3. Yah designed men and women as sexual beings. He created sex and said that it is “very good.” (See Genesis 1:31.)




4. Yah is negative only about the misuse of sex.




5. The Bible uses sexual union in marriage as a metaphor for the intimacy and unity of Hamachiach and His bride, the community.




6. Yah designed sex within marriage for these reasons: (1) to procreate the human race, (2) to seal a blood covenant between two humans, and (3) to allow sex to be enjoyed to its maximum potential without repercussions.




7. Yah wants us to enjoy sex so much that He has told us what its safe boundaries are. The primary boundary is the marriage covenant.




8. The body is not meant for immorality. This is one of Yah‘s sexual laws, which He has given us for our good.




9. Yah‘s design is male and female; not male and male, or female and female. We can know that homosexuality is not Yah‘s plan because it does not fit His design.




10. Sex is a physical sign of a spiritual act—the giving of oneself completely to another and for another.




11. Sex was given by Yah to help express love, not create it.




12. The sexual traps of men are (1) misunderstanding the sexual difference between males and females; (2) the voice of pleasure; (3) the lure of romanticism; (4) the desire for extramarital relationships; and (5) ego need.