THE POWER OF INFLUENCE

Matthew chapter 6










Today we are walking in: The Power Of Influence!!!!







Today we look to the word-KINGDOM- H4467 mamlâkâh, (mam-law-kaw') -dominion, (abstractly) the estate (rule) or (concretely) the country (realm):—kingdom, king's, reign, royal





The Torah testifies...............





Numbers 32:33




And Moses gave unto them, even to the children of Gad, and to the children of Reuben, and unto half the tribe of Manasseh the son of Joseph, the kingdom H4467 of Sihon king of the Amorites, and the kingdom H4467 of Og king of Bashan, the land, with the cities thereof in the coasts, even the cities of the country round about.







The prophets proclaim..................






Jeremiah 18:9




And at what instant I shall speak concerning a nation, and concerning a kingdom H4467, to build and to plant it;









The writings bear witness...........................





1 Kings 9:5




Then I will establish the throne of thy kingdom H4467 upon Israel for ever, as I promised to David thy father, saying, There shall not fail thee a man upon the throne of Israel.







THE POWER OF INFLUENCE







Nothing is more damaging to a new truth than an old error.

—Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

The Kingdom Life

Years of research have led me to the conclusion that the practical outworking of kingdoms points us to truths and principles that transcend the mere political fortunes of individual empires. Seeing how they function actually:


√ provides us with a deep understanding of our own nature as human beings,


√ reveals the key to our remarkable life purpose, and


√ enables us to exercise our full potential in the world.
These things have tremendous implications for the human race personally, professionally, socially, and politically; for our families, communities, nations, and the world.

Dr. Myles Munroe says, I am in a somewhat unique position to discuss the nature of kingdoms and their colonies, having grown up in a land that was a British colony for nearly two hundred years, and having witnessed its peaceful transition to independence. I well remember what it meant to live under a monarch—both the mind-set of a kingdom and its functioning and procedures. Yet I also understand what it means to live in an independent nation, having eagerly followed our transition to self-government as a young person. My close acquaintance with these two ways of governing has been extremely beneficial to me as I have explored the nature of kingdom and what it means for every person on this planet.

My investigation into the concept of kingdom has convinced me that the success of your life and mine depends upon how well we understand and live out what I will call the kingdom life. I am not referring to a political system or to any particular national government, but to a way of understanding and living everyday life.

An Anti-Kingdom Perspective

The concept of kingdom may seem antithetical to the contemporary mind. Empires and their colonies seem outdated in the twenty-first century, just fading remnants of the past. Many nations today have representative governments. A number of former colonies and protectorates have gained their independence. Opportunities for self-government have expanded greatly throughout the world, and we rightly celebrate the political freedoms and opportunities these changes have brought. Human history has seen enough tyrannical kingdoms and dictators to want to move on to a different form of government.

Democracy is essentially humanity’s reaction to perverted kingdoms. The founders of the United States rebelled against what they considered an oppressive government, and the very genetics of contemporary Western society are anti-kingdom. Because of the strong influence of political and social ideas of independence and freedom, this perspective has permeated the world and affects many areas of our thinking, not just the governmental realm. It shows up in how we view and conduct ourselves in personal relationships, business, media, education, and even religion because our cultural experiences produce our definitions. This is why the concept of kingdom is dismissed by most people today as irrelevant, and is even considered out-and-out frightening by others.

In the light of these developments, however, many people no longer understand what life in an authentic and uncorrupted kingdom entails. I believe this lack of understanding has hindered them in the way they’ve approached their lives. Most of us have forgotten why kingdoms historically had such a profound impact on people and nations for thousands of years, some of which is still being felt. They haven’t recognized what the concept and history of kingdoms reveal that is vital to us today.

I therefore want to present to you, step-by-step, how the practical working of the kingdom life answers essential questions about our human existence, purpose, and fulfillment. We have approached our personal goals and problems, as well as our national and global crises, from many vantage points, but not often from this perspective. Democracies are valuable political institutions for us today, but I’m referring to some- thing that transcends our contemporary politics and government—something that speaks to the basis of our very being as humans. It has significance for people of all nations, religions, and creeds. It lies at the heart of the existence of every person on earth.

Just as I found myself sitting between kingdom and colony, you and every other person on the planet are, in a sense, supposed to find yourselves in a relationship between kingdom and colony, and to experience that dynamic in your own lives.

Kingdom Power

The character of this kingdom is, again, nothing like the political kingdoms of the past and present that seek to force others under their control based on territorial power, greed, or religious doctrine. Those kingdoms enslave. But the very nature of humanity, as well as the personal and corporate progress of the world, are designed to develop and thrive from the outworking of this kingdom.

I mentioned in the previous teaching that the principal issue of humanity is power, defined as “the ability to influence and control circumstances.” We all want to direct and influence our lives in a positive and fulfilling way. The nature of this kingdom speaks directly to this need.

Understanding our association with this kingdom begins with an exploration of what all human kingdoms have shared in common and how they were different from the contemporary experience of government most of us are familiar with today. Then we can move to the larger context of what these qualities reveal about our human existence and purpose.

The Nature of Kingdom Government

I define a kingdom as “the governing authority and influence of a sovereign ruler who impacts his territory through his will, purpose, and intentions, which are manifested in the culture, lifestyle, and quality of his citizenry.” A king must have his dominion, or his territory. We call it his “king-dominion” or his kingdom. You cannot be a king without having territory; you have to be ruling over something. And you cannot be a king without having kingdom citizens who live and work in the kingdom.

In a true, traditional kingdom, all power is vested in the monarch. The king actually, personally owns the country, including the people. In contrast, a president or prime minister in a representative government doesn’t own the country; he governs it on behalf of the people.

The king implements his vision for the kingdom. There is no congress or parliament to discuss which laws they’re going to create. There is only the monarch, and he has immediate access to his handpicked, trusted council, who carry out his wishes. The job of these advisors is to take the will of the king, translate it into the law of the land, and make sure it is enacted throughout the kingdom.

A kingdom is therefore the governing influence of a king over his territory, impacting and influencing it with his personal will. In a kingdom, the king’s personal interest becomes policy, and the king’s personal will becomes law.

The effectiveness of a kingdom and its power is therefore its ability to influence and control the territory according to the vision of the king.

The Goal of the Kingdom: Ruling and Gaining Territory

Most kingdoms throughout history have sought to take additional land, sometimes at some distance from the home country, because the power of a king is related to the territory he owns. The more territory a king had, the greater he was respected by other kingdoms, especially if the territories had abundant natural wealth. The home country of the king was his domain, and the outlying territories were his colonies.

Once a colony was gained, the sovereign’s number one goal was to exercise his personal influence over it.

The Transformation of Colonies into the Kingdom

A colony is comprised of “a group of emigrants or their descendants who settle in a distant land but remain subject to the parent country.” The word colony comes from the Latin word colonia, derived from colere, meaning “to cultivate.” In this sense, a colony is:


√ the presence of a distinct cultural citizenry in a foreign territory that is governed by the laws and customs of its home country.


√ established to influence the territory for the home government.

This means that a colony’s purpose was essentially to:

1. be an extension of the home country in another territory.

2.establish a prototype of the original country in another territory.


represent the values, morals, and manners of the home country.

manifest the culture and lifestyle of the original nation.
When a kingdom takes a territory, therefore, its goal is to make that territory exactly like the kingdom. The purpose is not only to gain lands, but also to transform these lands so that they mirror the country in its mind-set and lifestyle, its characteristics and culture. In this way, the kingdom not only extends its power, but it also expands the influence of its very nature.

INTRODUCTION: THE MOST IMPORTANT PERSON ON EARTH

Matthew chapter 6







Today we are walking in: Introduction: The Most Important Person On Earth!!!










Today we look to the word- KING- H4427- Malak- to reign; inceptively, to ascend the throne; causatively, to induct into royalty; hence (by implication) to take counsel:—consult, indeed, be (make, set a, set up) king, be (make) queen, (begin to, make to) reigning, rule, surely.










The Torah Testifies……………………




Genesis 14:18

And Melchizedek king H4427 of Salem brought forth bread and wine: and he was the priest of the most high God.











The Prophets Proclaim……………………




Isaiah 44:6

Thus saith the LORD the King H4427 of Israel, and his redeemer the LORD of hosts; I am the first, and I am the last; and beside me there is no God.










The Writings Bear Witness…………………..




Psalm 10:16

The LORD is King H4427 for ever and ever: the heathen are perished out of his land.







INTRODUCTION: THE MOST IMPORTANT PERSON ON EARTH




Human beings of all ages, genders, nationalities, and ethnic groups are on a search for purpose and significance. Consider:


√ the multitude of religions in the world that seek to explain our existence.


√ the large and growing number of books on the “self-help” shelves in bookstores.


√ the enormous emphasis in Western countries on self-actualization.


√ the scientific community’s continual pursuit of the origins of life.


√ the ongoing struggle of Third-World peoples to gain freedom and a sense of identity for their nations and themselves.



We seek to understand why we are here, the significance of the world we live in, and how we can fulfill our personal potential. We want to know if our individual lives have any real meaning in the vast expanse of history and time.

Why do we struggle with these questions? Why don’t we already know the answers to them?



What makes us so introspective and continually longing to find meaning for ourselves and our world?



Return to Manufacturer



Wouldn’t it be wonderful if all human beings were born with “manufacturer’s instructions” tied to their wrists, explaining who they are and how they work? (Of course, even if we did, most of us would probably skip the instructions and try to figure out life as we went along!)



I believe human beings do come with the equivalent of operating instructions that give us answers to our deepest questions about ourselves and our world. Some of this information has been placed within us; the rest has been given to us by our Creator or “Manufacturer” in written form. The reason we’re filled with such uncertainty and confusion about life is that we’ve lost our connection to these original instructions. We haven’t stopped to recognize our internal programming, or to read our life manual in order to understand our personal potential or how we work. This is why we can’t see the purpose of the world itself and how it is supposed to function.

When we try but fail to solve what is broken in our lives and in our world, it is because our Manufacturer’s labels have become faded, and we haven’t read this crucial instruction: “Do not try to repair yourself. Return to Manufacturer.”


It is the Manufacturer who...




√ has the original blueprints.


√ knows how to repair what is broken inside us.


√ can provide the replacement piece for what is missing in our lives.



When we rediscover the Manufacturer’s original intent, we come to understand our purpose, our potential, and the significance of our role in this world.



Kingdom Government



The mind of our Manufacturer didn’t invent the fragmented life we have today, with its divisions among nations and people groups, its strife among families, its double-mindedness and double standards, its abuse and waste. He conceived of an orderly but energetic life in which every person could reach his fullest potential in conjunction with others for the greatest good of individuals and the community of human beings.



The original blueprint of the Creator was for a kingdom government on earth as an extension and reflection of his own greater, spiritual kingdom. This earthly government was to be a thriving colony with humanity as (1) its citizens, and (2) its local vice governors representing the home kingdom. Our mandate was to transform the colony into the nature of the kingdom.



The character of the initial colony was both peaceful and productive because of the generous nature of its Creator and Sovereign. His interests are the welfare, fruitfulness, and fulfillment of his citizens. His is a perfect government, a benevolent rule.



Inter-Realm Connection

The key to the success of this plan was the establishment of an inter-realm connection and ongoing relationship between the home kingdom and the colony of earth. This connection was completely effective because it was direct—from Sovereign to individual citizens—through a super-natural communication that allowed the citizens to know the desires and plans of the King. That connection was the very Ruach of the Sovereign living within humanity—his Ruach HaQadesh.

To understand this inter-realm connection, we have to look at the concept of supernatural, and we must address the various misconceptions people have when they hear the term Ruach HaQadesh. I am not talking about some kind of “force,” “mist,” or “feeling,” but a Person. I am referring to the Creator “extending himself” to us in personal interaction, a Person-to-person communication.



The Concept of the Supernatural

The word supernatural does not exist in Scripture, but it does describe a concept clearly presented there. Supernatural simply means “outside” or “above” the natural; it is spiritual rather than physical. The supernatural world is above our natural world. Paul of Tarsus, the first-century theologian, defined this concept as invisible or unseen:



Since the creation of the world Yah’s invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made.



So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.



The supernatural realm is therefore an invisible or unseen world that is distinct from our physical one. It is what the incomparable young teacher, Yahusha of Nazareth, was referring to when he said, “My kingdom is not of this world....But now my kingdom is from another place.”



When someone “experiences” the supernatural world of the Creator-King, it refers to his encounter with the kingdom of his Sovereign. The key to his interaction with the unseen kingdom is the Ruach HaQadesh communicating the King’s mind and heart to him so he can carry it out on earth.



The nature of this relationship between the unseen world of the kingdom government and the seen world of the physical earth underscores the incalculable value of the one who makes the connection between these two realms possible, the Ruach HaQadesh.



The Concept of the Kingdom

To fully appreciate the invisible kingdom government, we must realize that the idea of “kingdom” didn’t originate on earth with the ancient civilizations of Babylon and Egypt. It didn’t come from earth at all. The concept of kingdom is rooted in the desire of the Creator to design and sustain both the unseen and seen realms in order to express, represent, and manifest his nature.

Ideas are one of the most powerful forces in existence. We see how the greatest ideas transcend generations and serve as the source of people’s creative activity and the motivation for their productivity. Ideas are the starting point of all that is created. An idea becomes a full-fledged, viable concept when it is envisioned and executed. The concept of an ideal kingdom is so beautiful that only a Creator-King of a certain nature could have envisioned and established it. We need to understand the King and kingdom out of which we come.

The word king refers to the person or personality who influences and oversees the productive development and profitable service of everything under his care, for the fulfillment of his noble desires and the benefit of all those living in his realm. The environment, territory, and authority over which he presides are his “domains” or “realms.” A king effectually relating to his domains is the essence of the concept of kingdom.

Kingdom is thus the perfect example of the divine, creative act of the Creator. The first realm of his dominion is described as heaven. Heaven is the original kingdom; it was the origin of kingdoms. No kingdom existed before it, and nothing natural can be adequately compared to it. It is the first real kingdom because the first King created it. The kingdom of heaven is the only perfect prototype of kingdoms in existence.

When our Creator-King desired to extend his perfect kingdom from the invisible realm to the visible realm, the result was the creation of the physical universe and the appointment of planet earth as the destination for a unique extension of his divine being.

Paul of Tarsus attempted to communicate this divine process of creation and extension when writing to people in the city of Colossae: “By him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things were created by him and for him.”

The kingdom of heaven and its colony of earth exist through the will of our Creator-King. It is therefore impossible to comprehend humanity’s purpose without understanding the kingdom concept and how we are meant to live it out on earth. An inter-realm connection through the Ruach HaQadesh is what enables us to fulfill our very purpose as human beings.

The kingdom government is the ultimate answer to our search for personal significance and the meaning of the world around us.

We can no longer ignore the fading writing on our Manufacturer’s label. Let us return to the initial intent of our Creator-King, so we may understand the original blueprints of both kingdom and colony.




In the beginning was the King’s Word. His Word was himself and was inseparable from him. His Word was with him from the start. Everything that exists came into being through the King’s Word; no other source of life exists. In his Word was life, and this life manifested the knowledge of the King and his kingdom to the darkened and confused minds of humanity. But although the light of this knowledge shines brightly, those who choose to remain in a darkened state cannot see it.

In the beginning, the King created a colony for his kingdom. The colony was raw and undeveloped, and there was no life there. The King’s Governor was poised to bring order and kingdom influence to the colony through the King’s Word.

KEYS TO BECOMING A REAL MAN

Genesis chapter 2







Today we are walking in: Keys To Becoming A Real Man!!!!










Today we look to the word-KEY- H4668 maphteach--key, opening instrument




The Torah testifies...............

****






The prophets proclaim..................





Isaiah 22:22

And the key H4668 of the house of David will I lay upon his shoulder; so he shall open, and none shall shut; and he shall shut, and none shall open.








The writings bear witness...........................




Judges 3:25

And they tarried till they were ashamed: and, behold, he opened not the doors of the parlour; therefore they took a key, H4668 and opened them: and, behold, their lord was fallen down dead on the earth.







Keys to Becoming A Real Man




Yah’s Purposes Should Saturate and Overflow a Man’s Life.




You are born a male, but you have to become a man. This means that someone could actually grow up to be just an old male, never living as a real man. In this teaching, we‘ve explored how a male can be transformed into the man Yah purposed when He created the world. Becoming Yah‘s man is the only way a male can live a satisfying and meaningful life, because His purpose is the key to fulfillment.




To become a real man, a male needs to understand that Yah‘s purposes must permeate his entire life so they can overflow into the lives of others. When Yah gave man dominion over the earth, He was saying, ―I am giving you stewardship over creation. Take care of it, so that it will always be a reflection of My character and purposes. To be a steward means to be given a trust over what belongs to someone else. A man is responsible for living out Yah‘s purposes in the world and enabling others to do so, also.




The following are ten keys to becoming a real man that incorporate the themes, truths, and principles we‘ve learned throughout this series—all of which come down to a stewardship of the lives and resources with which Yah has entrusted us. Read and reread these keys until the true meaning of what it means to be a man permeates your understanding, and Yah‘s presence and purposes overflow from your life to the world around you.




Key #1

A Real Man Desires and Loves Yah and His Presence




A real man seeks intimate communion with Yah by remaining continually in His presence. He loves to worship the One who created and redeemed him. A real man‘s spiritual priorities take precedence over his physical and temporal ones. In Luke 4:3, the devil tempted Yahusha with a physical need. “If you are the Son of Yah, tell this stone to become bread.” Yahusha replied, in essence, ―No, you don‘t understand. I have My priorities sorted out. I would rather be in Yah‘s presence than satisfy any temporal hunger. (See verse 4.) A real man is clear about what his priorities are.




Key #2

A Real Man Seeks to Restore Yah’s Image in Himself




A real man wants to be spiritually renewed so that the fullness of Yah‘s image and likeness is restored to his life. He seeks to return to the original plan that Yah intended when He first made man. This plan is that males and females would reflect the nature of Yah, who is Spirit, while living as physical beings on the earth. A real man is not deceived by or enamored with counterfeit images of manhood, such as the popular culture presents. A real man wants to be what he was created to be. He wants to be like his Father Yah.




Key #3

A Real Man Aspires to Work and to Develop His Gifts and Talents




After Yah placed Adam in His presence, He gave him work. Yahusha, the Second Adam, seemed to have two favorite words that reflected Yah‘s purposes for man. One was Father. He was always talking about His Father in heaven and seeking His presence in prayer. The other was work. For example, consider these statements of Yahusha: “My food is to do the will of Him who sent Me, and to finish His work” (John 4:34 NKJV). “My Father is always at his work to this very day, and I, too, am working” (John 5:17). “As long as it is day, we must do the work of him who sent me. Night is coming, when no one can work” (John 9:4). “I have brought you glory on earth by completing the work you gave me to do” (John 17:4).




Yahusha was intent on doing His Father‘s work to completion. A real man aspires to do the work of Yah the Father, while developing and using the gifts and talents Yah has given him. He isn‘t lazy; he has a vision for his life, and he is willing to work to fulfill it. In Yah‘s economy, a man who works and makes mistakes is better than a man who doesn‘t do anything.




A real man‘s motivation for work is to fulfill the purposes for which he was created. Yahusha said, “I tell you the truth, you are looking for me, not because you saw miraculous signs but because you ate the loaves and had your fill. Do not work for food that spoils, but for food that endures to eternal life, which the Son of Man will give you” (John 6:26– 27). In other words, there‘s a higher reason to work. Don‘t work just to pay bills. Don‘t work just to buy food. Understand the true nature of work. In the Garden, there was no supervisor, no one to hand out paychecks. Work was given to Adam because it was a natural part of his being. Through work, he fulfilled his purpose as a man.




Matthew 25:16, which comes from the parable of the talents, is a powerful verse: “The man who had received the five talents went at once and put his money to work and gained five more.” How did the man gain more money? He put his original money to work, and the money multiplied. Yah wants us to go to work to multiply His kingdom on earth.




Key #4

A Real Man Honors His Marriage and Family above Personal Interest




Yahusha‘ first miracle was at a wedding (John 2:1–11). In this way, His ministry was introduced to the world as one that supports the family. Yahusha is a family Man. His number one desire right now is to be married to His bride, the Ecclesia. The books of Ephesians and Colossians say that the Ruach HaQadesh is our seal of salvation. Like an engagement ring, the Spirit is our promise that we‘re going to be married to our Bridegroom, Yahusha. The book of Revelation says that Yahusha is waiting for His bride. After He returns to earth for us, we will be with Him at the Marriage Supper of the Lamb. We will be consummated with Hamachiach.




Yahusha loves His betrothed. He is a family man, and He takes care of His bride. The Bible says that He gave His life for her. He washes her “by the washing with water throughthe word” (Eph. 5:26). A man is to love his wife “just as Hamachiach loved the Ecclesia and gave himself up for her....Husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies” (vv. 25, 28). A real man protects and takes care of his wife and family, looking out for their needs before his own. A few real men who truly understood this truth and endeavored to live it out could set a standard for entire nations.




Key #5

A Real Man Endeavors to Learn, Live, and Teach Yah’s Word and Principles




In Genesis 2:15–17, Yah commanded the first man to keep His word, saying that if he disobeyed it, he would die. In this act, He established the principle that “man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of Yah” (Matt. 4:4).




A real man is a man of principles. He realizes that his spirit must be nourished by the Word of Yah or his spiritual health will decline. Yah‘s Word is the precept by which he lives. Because he is a responsible leader, he is also committed to teaching the Scriptures to his family.




A real man allows the Word to transform his life so that he can represent Yah‘s will on earth, thus spreading the Garden of Yah‘s presence to a world living in the darkness of sin and separation from Yah:




Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of Yah without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe as you hold out the word of life. (Phil. 2:14–16)




Key #6

A Real Man Demonstrates Faith and Inspires It in Others




When you return to your original image as a man, you become a person who makes people believe that anything is possible. Can you think of Yahusha as being anything less than that? He was the only One in history who said, “Nothing is impossible with Yah” (Luke 1:37). What He said is so high that only Yah could have said it.




Yahusha not only said it, but He also believed it. That‘s why the beggar, the prostitute, and the religious man all kept coming to Him. He made them believe nothing was impossible. A real man has a spirit of faith and inspires others.




Wouldn‘t you like to be around someone who says, ―You can do it. I know things are tough, but you‘re going to make it, and ―Everyone fails once in a while. Get back up and try again? Even in the darkest hour, a real man believes that there‘s a way out. He will tell you a thousand times, ―Get up again; you can do it. Counterfeit men have no faith. They say things like, ―You‘re talking about starting a business? You‘d better hang on to that secure job you have. A real man knows that no job can give a person true security, so he puts his faith in Yah and trusts His leading.




Sometimes a real man might be scared, but he won‘t worry, because he trusts in Yah to finish the work He started. Faith is believing in what Yah said, not in what you see. That‘s the faith of a real man.




Key #7

A Real Man Is Committed to Cultivating Others to Be the Best They Can Be




A real man endeavors to encourage others to reflect the image and creativity of Yah in all they are and do— spiritually, emotionally, psychologically, and physically. He prays for wisdom and guidance on how to cultivate his wife and children so they can mature in Hamachiach and become all that Yah has created them to be. He encourages his family in their gifts and talents while helping them develop in any way he can. As a cultivator, he delights in seeing these gifts unfold in their lives, just as Yah delights in seeing us use our abilities for His glory.




Key #8

A Real Man Loves Compassion, Mercy, and Justice




A real man exercises compassion, mercy, and justice. Through them, he shows true strength and brings the kingdom of Yah to others.




Compassion is passion that is aimed at setting people free. Every time Yahusha had compassion, He was about to fix something. If people were hungry, He had compassion and fed them. If they were “like sheep without a shepherd” (Matt. 9:36), He had compassion and said, ―I am the Good Shepherd; I‘ll lead you (See John 10:11–15.) To show compassion means to apply one‘s strength to meet people‘s needs.




Mercy is not treating a person as he deserves when he has committed a wrong against you. Yah has extended mercy to us in salvation. “But Yah demonstrates his own love for us in this: while we were still sinners, Hamachiach died for us” (Rom. 5:8). As His representatives on earth, He wants us to show mercy, also. We are not to seek revenge against others, but are to freely forgive them and do everything we can to lead them to Hamachiach. “We are therefore Hamachiach‟s ambassadors, as though Yah were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Hamachiach's behalf: be reconciled to Yah” (2 Cor. 5:20).




Justice means doing what is right by others. Yah hates injustice. A real man reflects His nature and character by following His command to “act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your Yah” (Mic. 6:8).




Key #9

A Real Man Is Faithful and Loyal to the Kingdom of Yah and His Mission, the Ecclesia




In Matthew 6:33, Yahusha reduced life to one thing: “Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” He was saying, in effect, ―Look, all of you are talking about your mortgages, cars, lands, clothing, food, drink, and everything else. You have your priorities confused. Seek first the kingdom of Yah.




A real man has a passion to see the kingdom of Yah established in his country. Sinners make him sad. Broken lives depress him. People who don‘t know Hamachiach concern him. A real man rejoices when people are delivered from the devil. The Bible says that Yahusha sent out His disciples with the authority to cast out demons, heal the sick, and raise the dead. (See Luke 10:1–24.) When they came back, what did Yahusha do? The Bible says He was “full of joy” (Luke 10:21). In the Greek, the word this phrase comes from means to ―jump for joy, or ―be exceedingly glad. Yahusha began to leap. He was excited about men setting other men free. He said to the disciples, “Do not rejoice that the spirits submit to you, but rejoice that your names are written in heaven” (v. 20). In other words, ―Don‘t rejoice that the demons are afraid of you. Re- joice that you are saved. This is what makes Me happy. Real men have the spirit of the Great Commission in their lives: a love for souls and a passion for others to know Hamachiach.




Key #10

A Real Man Keeps Himself in Yah




Finally, a real man doesn‘t take Yah‘s presence in His life for granted. He guards his heart and actions so that he can stay close to Yah and continually reflect His character and ways. He puts the entire weight of his trust in the Most High because he knows that Yah is “able to keep [him] from falling and to present [him] before his glorious presence without fault and with great joy” (Jude 24).




A Final Word

Communities and nations will be transformed when men return to Yah and His purposes for them. Yah is looking for those who will dedicate themselves to standing “in the gap on behalf of the land” (Ezek. 22:30). He wants to bring His life- changing power to broken marriages, damaged families, shattered societies, and individual men, women, and children who need reconciliation with Yah and a restoration of His purposes for them. But He‘s waiting for men like you. Real men who will commit themselves to fulfilling their dominion purpose of spreading Yah‘s presence throughout the whole world. I pray that people will be able to look at your life and say, ―Now I know what a real man looks like, as they are transformed by Yah‘s presence in you.

HOW TO BE A GOOD FATHER

Proverbs chapter 2










Today we are walking in: How To Be A Good Father!!!!







Today we look to the word-FATHER- H1 av (Abba)--head or founder of a household, group, family, or clan; ancestor; of producer, generator









The Torah Testifies.............................






Genesis 4:21


And his brother's name was Jubal: he was the father H1 of all such as handle the harp and organ.











The prophets proclaim...............




Jeremiah 7:25


Since the day that your fathers H1 came forth out of the land of Egypt unto this day I have even sent unto you all my servants the prophets, daily rising up early and sending them:













The writings bear witness.............






Joshua 14:1


And these are the countries which the children of Israel inherited in the land of Canaan, which Eleazar the priest, and Joshua the son of Nun, and the heads of the fathers H1 of the tribes of the children of Israel, distributed for inheritance to them.








How to Be a Good Father


A Father Is Meant to Represent the Fatherhood of Yah to His Children.


Never before in the history of the world have we been as much in need of good fathers. When Yah created the male and gave him his dominion assignments, He included the responsibility of cultivating and protecting his offspring. Yet today, there is a widespread lack of understanding about the nature of fatherhood. Men of all nations and races lack the skills of good parenting.


Certain men think that their ability to produce a child makes them a man. Any male can have a baby. Merely having a child is no guarantee that you are a real man—or a real father. These men don‘t know the meaning of being a covering, protection, and role model for their children.


Many men were never taught what it means to be a good father, and their own fathers did not provide good examples for them. The problems we encounter with our parents in the early years of our lives can be transferred into our own families after we marry, if they have not been resolved. When fathers are a negative influence on their sons, boys grow up with the wrong concept of marriage and fatherhood. Broken relationships and families are the result.


In a large number of homes today, fathers are absent, due to separation, divorce, and the rising number of out-of- wedlock births. Other fathers live in the home but are absent from the family for all intents and purposes. They have forsaken their responsibility as fathers because of career pursuits, indifference, and selfishness, as they put their own pleasures ahead of their children‘s welfare. This means that many children don‘t have the benefit of a good father.


A Tremendous Calling


Gentlemen, we have a tremendous calling ahead of us. Our task involves changing not only our own perspectives of fatherhood, but also those of our children, especially our sons. We have to communicate to them the standards of Yah, so that the trend I‘ve just described can be reversed. But we have to start with ourselves. We must discover and put into practice what the Word of Yah says about fathers and to fathers. Then we can teach these principles to other men and boys. Yah‘s truth about fathers will be the salvation of our communities and nations.


Yah has always been very specific in His Word about the responsibilities of a father. This role is of particular importance to Him, because fathers are meant to represent Him to their children. The fatherhood of Yah is indicative of His nature; it is the way He desires to relate to us. When fathers fail to show His love and character to their sons and daughters, the children‘s concept of Yah suffers, affecting their relationships with Him. Now, no earthly father can ever be perfect. Yet Yah has provided a wealth of instruction on parenting in His Word. When men look to Him, they can fulfill their responsibilities and be meaningful reflections of the fatherhood of Yah to their children. What, then, does it mean to be a good father?


The Responsibilities of a Father


1. A Good Father Knows the Heavenly Father

A man won‘t be able to understand what it means to be a good father if he doesn‘t know His heavenly Father. When Yahusha rose from the dead, He made this wonderful state- ment: “I am returning to my Father and your Father, to my Yah and your Yah” (John 20:17). Because of Yahusha‘ death and resurrection on our behalf, we can know Yah not only as our Creator but also as our Father.


A man must also have faith in Yah as His Father—that He will love, protect, and provide for him. Trust and reliance on Yah is what a father needs to model for his children. The greatest heritage a man can leave his sons and daughters is not money or property, but faith. A house can burn down, or someone can sell or repossess it, but no one can destroy the faith you have instilled in your child. Besides, the child will be able to use his faith to obtain another house, because he has been taught to trust Yah as his Provider.


In the Bible, you will often see variations on the phrase, “the Yah of my father.” (See, for example, Genesis 26:24; 32:9; 2 Chronicles 17:4; Isaiah 38:5.) Men, if you have one goal in life, let it be this: before you die, you will hear your children say, ―I serve the Yah of my father. If they have seen Yah reflected in you, then you have displayed His life and character to them. In doing so, you have given them a true spiritual heritage.


Why did the children of the patriarchs follow the Yah of their fathers? He kept His promises and took care of them. In Genesis 12:2, Yah said to Abraham, “I will make you into a great nation and I will bless you; I will make your name great, and you will be a blessing.” Later, we see how Yah began to fulfill this promise. Abraham‘s servant reported,


The Most High has blessed my master abundantly, and he has become wealthy. He has given him sheep and cattle, silver and gold, menservants and maidservants, and camels and donkeys. My master‟s wife Sarah has borne him a son in her old age, and he has given him everything he owns. (Gen. 24:35)


Abraham‘s son, Isaac, saw firsthand that the Yah of his father was real, and he decided, ―I‘m going to serve my father‘s Yah, too. Today, many children are turning away from the true Yah because their fathers‘ faith is weak, and therefore they think their fathers‘ Yah is also weak. The Yah whom their fathers serve doesn‘t seem to be living up to what He‘s supposed to, so the children are disillusioned.


If you are a father, your children are looking up to you and saying, ―Show me Yah. Your representation of Yah in the home will likely determine what your children will say in the end. Will they say, ―I will serve the Yah of my father? Or will they say, ―The Yah of my father is not worth serving? I want my children to see the faithfulness of Yah displayed in my life. I want them to be able to say, ―This Yah that my father and mother serve does everything He says He will do. My mother said that Yah was going to do this, and He did it. My father prayed that this would happen, and it happened. This Yah is real. I will follow the Yah of my parents because He is faithful.


2. A Good Father Loves the Mother of His Children


The second most important thing a man can do for his children is to love their mother. Many men buy gifts for their children, such as bicycles and computers, when what the children want and need most is to see their fathers truly love their mothers. I think there is nothing more precious than for a child to see his parents being affectionate with one another. I think kids get a feeling of security when they see that.


Showing consideration and honor for your wife is extremely important. Are you demanding and impatient with your spouse, or do you treat her with kindness and understanding? What are you modeling for your children about what it means to be a husband? Children take in everything they see, and your children observe the way you treat your wife much more than you may know. A child will often lose honor for his father if he doesn‘t see him giving his mother the consideration and love she deserves.


Many men don‘t realize that their treatment of their wives affects not only how their children see them, but also how Yah views them. If a husband doesn‘t treat his wife with honor, his very prayers may be hindered:


Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with honor...so that nothing will hinder your prayers. (1 Pet. 3:7)


When you love the mother of your children, you bring peace and happiness into your home, and you teach your children by example what it means to be a real man.


3. A Good Father Loves His Children


Many parents think love means providing their children with clothes, food, and shelter. That‘s merely a natural and moral duty. Anyone with common sense and a little bit of conscience would buy food. Love is much more than that. There are fathers who pay the rent for their children, but don‘t go to visit them. There are fathers who buy their children gifts, but send them with somebody else. Buying things for your kids doesn‘t necessarily mean you love them. It may mean you feel guilty about not fulfilling your responsibility to them. Some men don‘t even want to do that. They don‘t pay child support, so the courts have to deal with them.


Love is not buying gifts. Love is you being a gift. The Bible tells us that our heavenly Father so loved the world that He became a revelation of that love in Yahusha Hamachiach. Therefore, if a man is really a father, he doesn‘t just send gifts. He sends himself. That‘s the essence of love.


Love also means correcting, chastening, and reproving your children when they need it. We‘ll take a closer look at these responsibilities in coming sections. However, let me say here that some children are begging to be corrected, but their fathers don‘t have any sense to realize it. Some children hate their fathers because they let them do whatever they want. The fathers think the children will do fine on their own. They say, ―My child is old enough to handle it, while their children are thinking, ―I need help, Daddy! I don‘t know the right values in life. I don‘t have standards to judge by. I‘m looking to you to give me some guidelines, and you‘re telling me, Decide for yourself.‘


Loving your children means setting standards for them. Life today is very complex and confused. Children need someone who can tell them, ―This is the way in which to go. You need to give your children a love that instills eternal values. I‘ve talked to parents who were concerned because their child was wayward. ―I don‘t know what happened. I gave him everything he wanted. That was the problem. You don‘t give your child everything he wants. You give him what he needs.


There are times when love has to be tough. Some fathers don‘t have the backbone for that. They are afraid to punish their children, so they leave it up to their wives. The Bible never says the mother is to correct the children; it says the father is to discipline them. Yet how many fathers leave discipline up to the mothers? Some fathers don‘t punish their children because they want the children to like them. They don‘t realize the effect this has on their families. The children begin to love their mother more than their father because they know their mother cares enough to correct them. They think, ―Daddy doesn‘t really love me. They may also grow up believing a parent isn‘t supposed to discipline his children, so they don‘t become good agents of correction for their own children. If you love your children, you will correct them.


4. A Good Father Is Responsible for His Children


There is a popular idea today that every person should take total responsibility for himself or herself, no matter how young that person is—that a child has ―children‘s rights that are the same as an adult‘s. This philosophy teaches that a parent cannot spank a child as a disciplinary measure. If this happens, the child should be able to go to court and get an injunction against his parents for hurting him. It also says a child should also be able to ―divorce his parents.


What the world is saying is that children should be al- lowed to bring themselves up. This idea is foolish. You don‘t treat children as adults. Children are children; grown-ups are grown-ups. Sometimes adults act like children. But children are definitely not adults and shouldn‘t be treated as if they were.


Parents have a responsibility before Yah to raise their children. Yah does not leave the care and upbringing of your children to themselves or to society. He leaves it to you.


How much time do you spend with your children? Who is really bringing them up? Perhaps you and your wife leave for work early in the morning and don‘t return until late in the evening. You don‘t see much of your children. Someone else has brought them up all day. Realize that everything that person represents goes into your children. They will learn their views of Yah, their concept of themselves, and their philosophy of life from their caretaker. You need to be careful whom you allow to watch your children.


To be responsible for your children, you must make time for them. They should not be considered one more item on a ―to do list or one more obstacle to clear out of your way. Many fathers don‘t really want to take responsibility for their children, because children take time and energy. Therefore, they leave them to fend for themselves. Balancing all of life‘s demands can be difficult for a father, but your children should be at the top of the list, after your wife.


5. A Good Father Teaches and Instructs His Children


A father needs to read and study the Word of Yah so he can teach it to his children. He must know the commands of Yah. It‘s impossible to teach something you haven‘t learned yourself. Remember what Yah said about Abraham, whom He called His friend?


Abraham will surely become a great and powerful nation, and all nations on earth will be blessed through him. For I have chosen him, so that he will direct his children and his household after him to keep the way of the Most High by doing what is right and just.

(Gen. 18:18–19)


Yah made a promise to Abraham and said the fulfillment of the promise was connected to Abraham‘s teaching his family the Word of Yah. There‘s a relationship between the two. Yah is holding up some fathers‘ blessings because they aren‘t loving their children enough to teach them the Word.


In the book of Proverbs, Solomon spoke of the wisdom to be gained from Yahly instruction:


My son, if you accept my words and store up my commands within you, turning your ear to wisdom and applying your heart to understanding, and if you call out for insight and cry aloud for understanding, and if you look for it as for silver and search for it as for hidden treasure, then you will understand the fear of the Most High and find the knowledge of Yah. For the Most High gives wisdom, and from his mouth come knowledge and understanding. (Prov. 2:1–6)


When fathers teach their children the commands of Yah, their children will learn that fathers who know the Word are worth listening to. Proverbs 1:8–9 says, “Listen, my son, to your father‟s instruction and do not forsake your mother‟s teaching. They will be a garland to grace your head and a chain to adorn your neck.” A garland was a crown or wreath given to athletes who won a race. When children receive Yahly instructions from their fathers, they can win the race that ends in eternal life.


6. A Good Father Trains and Disciplines His Children


In Hosea 11:3–4, Yah said,


It was I who taught Ephraim to walk, taking them by the arms; but they did not realize it was I who healed them. I led them with cords of human kindness, with ties of love; I lifted the yoke from their neck and bent down to feed them.


“It was I who taught Ephraim to walk.” Yah was talking about His people. He was saying, ―I have always been with you. From the time you were a child, I was working with you. When you fell down, I picked you up. I was training you. That‘s the spirit of a father. Our heavenly Father takes a personal interest in our training. Likewise, we are to personally train our children.


Proverbs 19:18 says, “Discipline your son, for in that there is hope; do not be a willing party to his death.” This is serious business. The verse is saying, ―Discipline and train a child now because there is hope in that discipline, hope in that training. You are giving hope to your child when you discipline and correct him. You are giving him a value system for his entire life.


The Scripture says if you don‘t do this, you‘re a party to your child‘s death. Now, we use the phrase ―a party to‖ to refer to criminals, don‘t we? Someone commits a murder, and another person is there assisting. Or someone robs a store, and another person drives the getaway car. The second person is called a party to the crime, which means that he or she is just as guilty as the one who committed the wrong. So the Scripture is saying that if you don‘t correct or discipline your child when he needs it, then when he goes bad, you are responsible.


Proverbs 29:15 says, “A child left to himself disgraces his mother.” Check out the children in the reform schools. Check out the inmates in the prisons. Look at the people living on the streets. Many of them were left to themselves as children, with no one to teach them character and values.


My heart goes out to single parents who have to fill the roles of both father and mother. I want to say to you: don‘t let your children train you. You may not know everything in life, but you know more than they do. And that‘s enough for you to be in charge. I don‘t care how old they are, when you‘re paying the mortgage, when you‘re providing for them, you make the rules. If they disobey the rules, you have to make sure they experience the consequences.


“Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it” (Prov. 22:6 KJV). The word for “train” in this verse is the same word that is used for conditioning. The Bible is saying, ―Condition your child in the way he should go. Why? He can‘t condition himself. He was born with a rebellious spirit. You don‘t have to teach your children to swear, lie, steal, commit adultery, or have bitterness and hatred. It‘s already in them. If you don‘t condition them, they will naturally become wayward. You have to train them.


The things children learn from their parents never leave them. I still retain what my father and mother taught me. Do you know that the same temptations that come to any young man came to me? What kept me on an even keel is the values and morals that were instilled in me. There were situations where, if it wasn‘t for the training of my parents, I would have gone under. The only thing that kept me safe was the character I learned from their teaching and correction. I love my parents because they disciplined me.


Hebrews 12:7–11 tells us the benefits of discipline:


Endure hardship as discipline; Yah is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father? If you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons. Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we honored them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live! Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but Yah disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.


“No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.” If you train your children, they will grow up to know Yah‘s ways and to have peace in their hearts.


The King James Version uses the word “chastening” instead of “discipline.” The word chasten means ―to correct, ―to reprove, or ―to discipline. Some children are punished but not corrected. Parents sometimes confuse the two. Your children need discipline. To discipline means to instill moral and mental character, to give values to a person. You don‘t give values just by punishing. You give values by correcting.


My parents had a wonderful way of sitting me down and saying, ―Now, here is why we punished you. They didn‘t just punish me; they corrected me. They said, ―If you keep this up, this will happen, and ―If you keep this kind of company, this will be the result. Disciplining your children may be somewhat painful for both you and your children at times, but the results will be positive and healthy.


7. A Good Father Encourages His Children


First Thessalonians 2:11–12 says, “For you know that we dealt with each of you as a father deals with his own children, encouraging, comforting and urging [or warning] you to live lives worthy of Yah, who calls you into his kingdom and glory.” This passage gives us three additional responsibilities of a good father: encouraging, comforting, and warning.


First, children need encouragement. Some children never hear an encouraging word from their fathers. Do you hear how some fathers talk to their children? They act as if the children can‘t do anything right. A ten-year-old boy is washing the dishes. His father comes in and says, ―Can‘t you clean dishes better than this? The little guy is at least trying. So encourage him. Maybe he leaves a little soap on the stove or counter. Don‘t look at what he left; look at what he cleaned up. Encourage him.


Maybe your child can‘t read quite as fast as you did when you were her age. Don‘t criticize her. Encourage her. Some children are really trying. Sometimes a child will try to help out with the chores and will unintentionally break something. His parent will run into the room and yell, ―What are you doing? He gets a lecture. So he goes to his room with a broken heart, a depressed spirit, and a hurt ego. He thinks, ―I‘m not going to help ever again! Some parents don‘t see their child‘s intention. They see only their own anger and frustration.


I‘ll never forget something that happened when I was still a young Hebrew. My sister was a little girl, and I was painting a picture of her. It was almost finished, and it had turned out really beautifully. I left the painting on the easel, with the paints out, and walked away for a moment. When I came back, I saw my sister putting red paint all over my picture. She was singing and having a great time. I wanted to slap her, but I took a firm grip on my impatience. In that moment, the Ruach HaQadesh spoke to me, saying, ―Don‘t look at what she did. Look at what she was trying to do. You wouldn‘t believe what I did. I said, ―Finish it. Guess what? Art became her favorite subject in school. She didn‘t mean to destroy my painting. She was just trying to paint.


Fathers need to encourage their children in what they are trying to do, even though it‘s not perfect. Maybe your son didn‘t receive an A in class, but at least he went to class. There are some kids who skip their classes. The teacher knows that at least your child tried. So correct and instruct your child with patience, and encourage his or her efforts.


8. A Good Father Comforts His Children


Next, children need comforting. You encourage them when they‘re doing something positive, and when you want them to improve in something. But there will be times when they become discouraged, hurt, confused, or disillusioned. That is when they need comfort.


How can you comfort your children? By letting them know they are loved, even when they make mistakes or don‘t live up to your expectations. By listening to their struggles and problems with kindness and understanding. By giving them warm embraces and loving words when they are sad.


To be a comforter, you have to be accessible to your children. You have to know what‘s going on in their lives so you can know when they‘re going through struggles and loneliness. Children will be comforted to know you‘re available to them and that you make it a point to spend time with them. Your comfort will also help them to know that their heavenly Father is a Comforter, just as He is described in His Word: “the Father of compassion and the Yah of all com- fort, who comforts us in all our troubles” (2 Cor. 1:3–4).


9. A Good Father Warns His Children


Fathers are also to urge or warn their children to live righteously. Yet how many fathers confuse warning with threatening? ―I‘m going to kill you if you don‘t stop that!‖ Some fathers don‘t have any kind of tact, because they don‘t know any better. A child interprets a warning as love, but sees a threat as hate.


The Bible says to warn children “to live lives worthy of Yah” (1 Thess. 2:12). This verse is talking about spiritual warning. It is a father‘s responsibility to warn his children of the consequences of rejecting Yah. ―Son, there is an eternal hell. I warn you, whatever you sow on earth, you‘re going to reap in the next life. ―Daughter, I warn you that whatever you become involved in will follow you in your memory forever. That's a spiritual warning.


Many fathers warn their children, but their children don‘t listen to them because they aren‘t setting a Yahly example. If you are walking in Yah‘s ways when you warn your children, they will come to honor the Yah of their father. They will say, ―If I obey my father, then I‘m obeying my Yah. I know that my father knows what is best because I see Yah working in his life. I‘ll obey my father because I want Him to work in my life, too.


Some of you may not live with your children. Maybe you are divorced, and your children live in another state or country. I suggest that you write them letters. It‘s amazing what you can communicate through a letter. You can put things in writing that you find hard to verbalize. Establish a loving relationship with your children through letters, so that you will have their honor when you want to warn them about spiritual realities. Then when you are no longer here, they will remember, ―My father told me about Yah. He wasn‘t always the best daddy all those years. But before he died, in those latter years, he told me about Yah. He left me enough that I know that he loves me beyond the grave. Warn your children. It‘s your responsibility.


10. A Good Father Does Not Provoke His Children


Last, fathers need to be careful not to provoke their children. The Bible says, “Fathers, do not exasperate your children” (Eph. 6:4), or “Do not provoke your children to anger” (NASB). What are fathers to do instead? “Bring them up in the training and instruction of the Most High” (v. 4).


Fathers have a way of provoking their children by impatience or harshness. Yet sometimes provocation means more than we normally think of in connection with the word. Notice that the above verse refers to “training” and “instruction” as the opposites of provocation: ―Don‘t provoke, but train. Don‘t provoke, but instruct.


Provocation can mean neglect. When you neglect your children, you incite them to despise you. Some fathers have no sensitivity to their children‘s needs, so the children become exasperated, provoked. They end up with inferiority complexes and undeveloped personalities, because their fa- thers didn‘t show them the love and kindness of Yah.


What Will Your Legacy Be?


My prayer is that every father or potential father listening to this teaching will take a look at his life and ask himself, ―What can I leave my children?


Do you want to leave them a house? Fine. However, that doesn‘t mean you will leave them a home. Do you want to leave them a car? Good. But that doesn‘t mean you will have taught them to be responsible enough to take care of it. Do you want to leave them some books? Wonderful. Yet that doesn‘t mean you‘re going to leave them with the interest to read them. Values are transmitted by example, not talk. Morals are transmitted by personification, not lectures.


Proverbs 17:6 says, “Parents are the pride of their children.” I think the greatest thing a father could hear his child say is, ―That‘s my daddy. I‘m proud of him. He‘s the best father. Will your children be able to say of you, ―The pride of my life is my father? or ―I want to be just like my father?

When your children want to be like you, they want to be like Yah, whom you represent. Ephesians 5:1 says, “Be imitators of Yah, therefore, as dearly loved children.” As you imitate your heavenly Father, your children will imitate you and reflect the character and life of their Creator. That is what the dominion assignment of fatherhood is all about.


Principles


A good father—


1. Knows the heavenly Father and represents Yah to his children.


2. Loves the mother of his children.


3. Loves his children.


4. Is responsible for his children.


5. Teaches and instructs his children.


6. Trains and disciplines his children.


7. Encourages his children.


8. Comforts his children.


9. Warns his children.


10. Does not provoke his children.


11. Leaves a strong spiritual legacy for his children.

MALE- FEMALE DIFFERENCES PART 2

Genesis chapter 2










Today we are walking in: Male-Female Differences Part 2!!!!







Today we look to the word-UNDERSTAND- H8085 shama`--to hear with attention or interest, listen to understand (language)










The Torah testifies...............




Genesis 11:7




Go to, let us go down, and there confound their language, that they may not understand H8085 one another's speech.










The prophets proclaim..................




Nehemiah 8:2




And Ezra the priest brought the law before the congregation both of men and women, and all that could hear H8085 with understanding, upon the first day of the seventh month.











The writings bear witness...........................




1 Kings 3:9




Give therefore thy servant an understanding H8085 heart to judge thy people, that I may discern between good and bad: for who is able to judge this thy so great a people?







5. Differences in Realizing Goals




When it comes to material things, such as a job task, a building project, or financial planning, men want to know the details of how to get there. They like to know what steps they must take to achieve a task. In contrast, women tend to look at overall goals. They think about what they want to accomplish rather than focusing on a step-by-step outline of what needs to be done. While a man will sit down and write out a list of points, a woman might just start doing something to make sure it gets done.




However, when it comes to spiritual or intangible things, the opposite is generally true: males look at overall goals, while females want to know how to get there. These tendencies are why men usually remember the gist of a matter, while women often remember the details and overlook or even misconstrue the gist. Men are interested in the principle, the abstract, the philosophy. They see the general direction they need to go in spiritually, and they head toward it. As long as they know what they believe, they don‘t always see the need for activities designed to help them arrive at their goal. However, women like to be involved in the process. They will attend prayer meetings and Bible studies, read Hebrew books, and participate more in the life of the community because it will help them grow spiritually.




Men and women can bring balance to one another in both material and spiritual things by helping each other to keep visions and goals clearly in mind while identifying the steps that are necessary to accomplish them effectively.




6. Differences in Personality and Self-Perception




A man‘s job is an extension of his personality, whereas a woman‘s home is an extension of hers. This difference can cause much conflict in relationships.




For instance, a woman may want her husband to spend time with her at home, whereas he can enjoy working twelve hours a day away from the home because he‘s cultivating something that is a reflection of who he is. He needs to work in order to feel fulfilled. Remember that when a man loses his job, it can be devastating to his self-esteem because he considers his job to be almost synonymous with himself.




A woman places high value on her physical surroundings and on creating a home. Men don‘t understand why women become upset when they put their muddy running shoes on the kitchen table or track sawdust in the living room after it has just been vacuumed. Men are not trying to be inconsiderate; they just don‘t think in the same terms that women do. Because a woman identifies herself with her home, sometimes she feels as if the sawdust has been tracked on her. When the beauty and order of the home is disturbed, it can be unsettling for a woman.




Another aspect to the differences in male and female personality and self-perception is that men‘s personalities are fairly consistent, while woman are continually changing. Women seek personal growth and development more than men do. They like to redecorate the home, discover new skills, or gain a new outlook. Men are often satisfied to follow the same routines, think in the same patterns—and wear the same suits for twenty years.




Understanding these personality traits is essential, because they involve sensitive areas of our lives, such as who we are and how we perceive ourselves. Men and women can use their knowledge of these differences to build up each another‘s self-esteem and to give each other latitude when one finds change hard and another looks forward to it.




7. Differences in Ideas of Security and Comfort




Because men put a strong emphasis on their jobs and are not as emotionally connected to their physical surroundings, they have a tendency to be nomadic as they look for new career opportunities. Conversely, many women have a great need for security and roots. While a move due to a new job seems like an adventure for a man and signals progress in his career, it can be stressful and difficult for his wife, who has to leave family and friends behind for an uncertain future. Women will also change geographic locations for jobs; however, married women are less willing to make a move to advance their own jobs than they are for their husbands‘ jobs. They are less inclined to want to disrupt the lives of their families, especially when they have children.




On the other hand, when it comes to encountering something new, men tend to stand back and evaluate at first. Women are more ready to accept new experiences, and they participate in them more easily. Let‘s return to the illustration from a previous teaching of a couple attending a new community. The man will scrutinize the people in a community, to see if they are genuine and trustworthy. A woman is more likely to take what she sees at face value and become involved more quickly.




Matters involving security and comfort can require great understanding on the part of a spouse. They reflect issues such as fulfillment, trustworthiness, fear, and feelings of instability. When men or women want to make job changes or embark on something new, they should be aware of the possible reactions of their spouses and show kindness and patience as they work through these potential changes to their lives.




True Fulfillment




As you can see, males and females perceive the world in very distinct ways, and they react differently to people and circumstances. However, they complement one another perfectly, so that they bring balance to each other‘s lives. What one fails to see, the another perceives. What one is weak in, the other is strong in.




No one person, and no one gender, can look at the world with complete perspective. Therefore, Yah has designed things so that when the male-man and the female-man live and work together in unity, they can help one another to have a wiser and richer experience of life. They can be more complete as human beings.




Needs are a built-in component to men and women because of the way they are designed. However, when we focus only on our needs, and when we refuse to be content unless they are immediately met, we bring conflict and unhappiness into our relationships. We stop seeing one another as gifts from Yah and start resenting one another.




If you want to be blessed, don‘t focus on your needs but discover what the other person‘s needs are and seek to fulfill them. This approach will become a double blessing, because consistently meeting the needs of another person will often cause that person to want to fulfill yours. Whenever you are not receiving what you need in a relationship, evaluate whether you have been trying to meet the other person‘s needs first. Giving to others by satisfying their needs—not demanding to have our own needs satisfied—will bring true fulfillment.




Principles




1. Men and women have perfectly complementary designs.




2. When men and women don‘t appreciate their differences, they experience conflict. When they value each other‘s purposes, they can have rewarding relationships and blend their unique designs harmoniously for Yah‘s glory.




3. Until the male recognizes the strengths Yah has placed within the female, he will be weak in those areas, because she is designed to supply what he lacks.




4. The primary needs of males are (1) honor, (2) recreational companionship, and (3) sex. The primary needs of females are (1) love, (2) conversation, and (3) affection.




5. A male is naturally a ―logical thinker, while a female is naturally an ―emotional feeler.




6. A male generally expresses what he‘s thinking. A female usually expresses what she‘s feeling. To a male, listening to spoken language is a process by which he receives information. For the female, it‘s an emotional experience.




7. Men are often like filing cabinets: they make quick decisions and mentally file them away, or they create mental ―to do folders, filing away problems until a later time. Women are generally like computers: their minds keep working through problems until they are solved.




8. In material things, men usually want to know the details of how to get there, while women tend to look at the goal. In spiritual things, the opposite is often true.




9. A man‘s job is an extension of his personality, while a woman‘s home is an extension of hers. A man‘s personality is fairly consistent, while a woman‘s is continually changing.




10. Men are nomadic, while women need security and roots.




11. When encountering something new, men tend to stand back and evaluate. Women are more ready to accept new experiences, and they participate in them more easily.

MALE-FEMALE DIFFERENCES

Genesis chapter 2







Today we are walking in: Male- Female Differences







Today we look to the word-NEED- H4270- machcowr- deficiency; hence, impoverishment:—lack, need, penury, poor, poverty, want.







The Torah testifies………...


Deuteronomy 15:8


But thou shalt open thine hand wide unto him, and shalt surely lend him sufficient for his need H4270, in that which he wanteth.







The Prophets proclaim………….


1 Samuel 21:15


Have I need H4270 of mad men, that ye have brought this fellow to play the mad man in my presence? shall this fellow come into my house?







The Writings witness……….


2 Chronicles 2:16


And we will cut wood out of Lebanon, as much as thou shalt need H4270: and we will bring it to thee in floats by sea to Joppa; and thou shalt carry it up to Jerusalem.








Male-Female Differences


Until the Male Recognizes the Female’s Yah-Given Strengths, He Will Be Weak in Those Areas, because She Is Designed to Supply What He Lacks.


Yah created men and women with perfectly complementary designs. The male is perfect for the female, and the female is perfect for the male. It is when men and women expect each other to think, react, and behave in the same ways—that is, when they don‘t know or appreciate their Yah-given differences—that they experience conflict. Yet when they understand and value each other‘s purposes, they can have rewarding relationships, and they can blend their unique designs harmoniously for Yah‘s glory.


One of the greatest problems I‘ve seen while counseling couples is that husbands and wives don‘t realize that the needs of their spouses are different from their own. Remember the principle that purpose determines nature, and nature determines needs? If a woman wants to help a man fulfill his purpose, she must learn his nature, how he functions, and what his needs are. She can‘t give him what she needs, because his needs are often different from hers. Consider this illustration: you fill up your car‘s gas tank with gasoline so that it will run. However, you don‘t pour gasoline on your plants to make them grow. Each entity needs to be given what is appropriate for its own nature and needs. The same principle holds true for males and females.


Sometimes I hear men say, ―I don‘t need a woman. These men fail to realize that women were designed to benefit them. Recall that when Yah created the world, He said that everything was good except for one thing: “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him” (Gen. 2:18, emphasis added). When Yah created man‘s helper, He made her as strong as the man, so that she can help him. We have to appreciate the fact that males and females have different strengths, and that each can‘t fully function without the other. There are some strengths that Yah has given the female that the male does not possess. Until he recognizes the strengths Yah has placed within the female, he will be weak in those areas, because she was designed to supply what he lacks.


The Distinct Natures of Men and Women


In this teaching, we‘ll explore the major differences between men and women in the way they think, act, and respond, so we can better meet one another‘s needs and work cooperatively to fulfill Yah‘s purposes. Again, these differences are not right or wrong, better or worse; they are just different. Keep in mind also that these are general tendencies. Some of these qualities may be manifested in either males or females, depending on how Yah has gifted them to fulfill their individual purposes.


1. Differences in Primary Needs


The primary needs of males are (1) Honor, (2) recreational companionship, and (3) sex. The primary needs of females are (1) love, (2) conversation, and (3) affection.


The Male’s Need for Honor


A man doesn‘t just desire honor, he needs it. It is part of his nature as leader, protector, and provider. The need for honor is at the core of his self-esteem, and it affects every other area of his life. More than anyone else, a wife can meet her husband‘s need for admiration and honor by understanding his value and achievements. She needs to remind him of his capabilities and help him to maintain his self-confidence. She should be proud of her husband, not out of duty, but as an expression of sincere admiration for the man with whom she has chosen to share her life.


A single man needs honor as much as a married man does. He needs the sisterly affirmation of female relatives and friends if he is to feel fulfilled as a man.


The Female’s Need for Love


Yah created the female so the male would have someone with whom to share earthly love. To love means to cherish and to care for. Because she was created for the purpose of receiving love, a woman doesn‘t just desire love, she truly requires it. As much as a man needs to know that he is honored, a woman needs to feel that she is loved. A woman wants to feel that she is important and special to her husband. When a man spends time with a woman, it makes her feel cherished because she knows she comes first in his life. She feels cared for when he goes out of his way to make sure she has everything she needs.


If a woman is single, receiving love is still her greatest need. Male relatives and friends can meet her need by showing brotherly love through acts of kindness, companionship, and assistance during life‘s difficulties.


Yah affirmed these primary needs in Ephesians 5:33: “Each one of you [husbands] also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must honor her husband.”


The Male’s Need for Recreational Companionship


It is a man‘s competitive or ―territorial nature that leads to his need for recreational companionship. He needs to be involved in challenging activities, and although he likes to win, he also desires to share these experiences with others. Nothing blesses a man more than when a woman is involved in his favorite recreation. If a wife participates in what her husband enjoys doing—playing tennis, visiting historical landmarks, playing an instrument, or designing computer programs, for example—and lets him tell her all about them, she can strengthen her relationship with him. He will feel good that she is involved with him in his inter- ests. When a couple shares important aspects of their lives with one another, they build understanding, companion- ship, and intimacy in their marriage.


The Female’s Need for Conversation


Because males have a leadership mindset, sometimes their conversations with their wives amount to instructions rather than a give-and-take dialogue. A woman desires to have a man talk with her, not at her.


Some men say, ―What am I going to talk about with my wife? They don‘t realize that a woman has a need to express herself and therefore has much within her that she wants to share. The man can fulfill a woman‘s need for intimate conversation by continually making a point to communicate with her. To truly meet her need, he should talk with her at the feeling level and not just the knowledge and information level. She needs him to listen to her attitudes about the events of her day with sensitivity, interest, and concern, resisting the impulse to offer solutions. Instead, he should offer his full attention and understanding. A man should conduct his end of the conversation with courtesy and openness, telling her what he really thinks and feels.


A male needs to share his interests, and a female needs conversation: these related needs can be a wonderful bridge of communication between men and women.


The Male’s Need for Sex


As we saw in the previous teaching, the male is almost always ready sexually. A man‘s need for sex is one of the strongest needs imaginable. It is an aspect of his makeup that gives him great fulfillment. Therefore, it is important for a woman to be sensitive to her husband‘s need for sex.


Sometimes, a woman sees a man‘s sexual energy as animalistic and thoughtless. If his approach is too abrupt or too aggressive, she may tell him to leave her alone. There are also times when she is not ready for sexual relations because of her cycle, so she will put him off. In these situations, the man may interpret her refusals as disinterest or dishonor, instead of recognizing the underlying reasons behind them.


On the other hand, some women pay more attention to community activities than they do to their husbands. In a sense, they neglect their husbands‘ sexual needs because they claim they are too busy serving Yah. Some women may even think it is not ―spiritual for them to engage in physical relations—perhaps because of the way they were brought up. These views are erroneous and can be a damaging witness to a husband. Sex was part of Yah‘s original design for humanity, and it is a holy thing between a husband and wife.


Men and women must balance having their own needs fulfilled with showing consideration for one another. The Bible says that husbands and wives are to fulfill one another‘s sexual needs (1 Cor. 7:3–5). It also says that a husband is to be sensitive to his wife‘s overall needs, treating her with consideration and honor. (See 1 Peter 3:7.)


The Female’s Need for Affection


While one of the male‘s primary needs is sex, one of the female‘s primary needs is affection. If these two interrelated needs are not lovingly understood and balanced, they can cause some of the worst conflicts in a marriage.


The woman‘s natural focus is on the sensory, intuitive, and emotional realms of life, and this is why she has a corresponding need for affection. She needs an atmosphere of affection in order to feel loved and fulfilled.


Men and women need to understand that affection creates the environment for sexual union in marriage, while sex is the event. Most men don‘t realize this, so they immediately go after the event. They don‘t know what it means to create an environment of affection. Instead, they focus only on their own needs. Yet affection is something the man has to initiate. If a man is not sure how to be affectionate, he should sit down with his wife and ask her— gently and sincerely.


Affection is the environment in which to grow a wonderful marriage. Giving affection to a woman means appealing to that which makes her an emotional being. Sometimes a woman just wants her husband to sit with her, hold her hand, and talk with her. Her need can also be met by plenty of hugs and kisses; a steady flow of words, cards, and flowers; common courtesies; and meaningful gifts that show the man is thinking of her—that he esteems her and values her presence in his life.






2. Differences in Thinking and Processing


Another difference between men and women is that the male is naturally a ―logical thinker, whereas the female is naturally an ―emotional feeler. A male‘s first reaction will be a thinking one, but he will also feel. A female‘s first reaction will be an emotional one, followed by a thinking one. There is a physiological explanation for these tendencies.


Fewer nerves connect the two hemispheres of the male‘s brain compared to a woman‘s brain, so that the logical and emotional sides are not as closely related as they are for women. Because of this, a male basically needs to ―shift gears to move from his dominant logical side to his emotional side. This is why men often think in terms of facts and in a linear fashion. They think like a straight line—the shortest distance between two points—which gives them the ability to see the goal (the vision) and to focus their energies on reaching it in the most straightforward and direct way.


Men often dismiss women as emotional or illogical. They don‘t understand how women are made and the perspective they provide on life. The neural pathways between the left and right hemispheres of a woman‘s brain (both the logical and the emotional sides) are intact. This is why women are able to do multiple tasks at the same time, ra- ther than having to focus on just one. Women tend to think more like a grid than a straight line. A woman‘s brain is designed to pick up many details that men don‘t ―see, things that go beyond mere facts, such as the personalities, motivations, and feelings of both herself and others. She can perceive, analyze, evaluate, and see relationships between things all at the same time, like x, y, and z coordinates on a grid track a multiple of factors at the same time.


The woman can help the man see aspects of life, which, if overlooked or ignored, can become detours or potholes preventing him from reaching his goal or from reaching it as quickly as he might have. Her peripheral vision keeps him from being blindsided as he single-mindedly pursues his goals and objectives. On the other hand, the man‘s linear thinking helps the woman not to become so enmeshed in the many layers of her multi-dimensional thinking and emotions that she loses sight of the goal and never reaches it. Instead of dismissing each other as ―unfeeling or ―emotional, men and woman need to appreciate their unique perspectives, which can greatly benefit one another.


3. Differences in Speaking and Hearing Language


The Spoken Word


When a male speaks, it is generally an expression of what he is thinking. When a female speaks, it is usually an expression of what she is feeling. They are communicating two completely different types of information.


Women often don‘t understand how very hard it is for men to express their feelings. It‘s very important for a woman not to come to any firm conclusions about a man‘s motivation for what he‘s saying until she discovers what he‘s feeling. There are many men who are feeling emotions that they have difficulty verbalizing. A woman needs to learn to create an environment that will enable a man to tell her what he is feeling. When she works through his thinking, she will find out what he is feeling—and she will discover that what he‘s feeling is often very different from what he‘s been saying.


In contrast, a woman doesn‘t always tell a man what she‘s thinking. If she becomes emotional, he needs to be patient and work through her emotions to find out what she‘s thinking. Sometimes, he has to dig deep to find out what is actually on her mind—because what a woman is thinking is often different from what she is saying. This process can take patience on the part of the man, because he wants just the facts and likes to quickly arrive at the bottom line. A woman is thinking on a variety of levels, however, and it takes her longer to process all these details and arrive at a conclusion.


If men and women aren‘t careful, they will come to the wrong conclusions about each other‘s true intentions, without knowing what the woman is really thinking or the man is really feeling. This error has caused many people to think that their marriages or relationships aren‘t working. Once they understand these differences, however, they can exercise patience and endeavor to come to the heart of the matter. Both men and women will experience great satisfaction when they are truly listened to and appreciated.


The Heard Word


When a man listens to spoken language, he considers it a process by which he receives information. However, for the female, it is an emotional experience.

A man will hear a verbal communication and conclude that it is either useful or worthless, true or untrue, logical or illogical. It is all facts and information to him. However, because a woman is an ―emotional feeler, she evaluates both the verbal and nonverbal communication she receives and perceives from the world around her. She not only receives thoughts and ideas into her being but also transforms them as she processes them. When a woman receives information, she assesses it both mentally and emotionally at the same time. The male generally uses these functions separately. Her emotions are with her all the time she is thinking, and this influences her perspective on the world around her as well as what is communicated to her.


When a man and woman learn that they comprehend the spoken word in distinct ways, they can tailor their communication styles to match the way the other best receives and processes information. This method will bring about improved understanding and eliminate much stress in relationships. A man and woman can also broaden their perspectives by asking the other what he or she thought of various people and circumstances they have both encountered.


4. Differences in Problem-Solving


Men are often like filing cabinets. That is, they make decisions quickly and ―file them away in their minds. Or they put a problem in a mental ―to do folder and go on to other things. They reopen the folder only when they feel ready to deal with it. In contrast, women are generally like computers. Their minds keep going and going, working things through, until a problem is solved.


These approaches to problem-solving are the reason men and women will often react differently to life‘s difficulties or conflicts in interpersonal relationships. Men tend to be resentful about such things, and it‘s harder for them to see past their anger. They might just ―file away the problems, as we saw earlier. On the other hand, women are guilt-prone; therefore, they often feel responsible for these situations, whether they have caused them or not. Even if they are angry, they will look within to see what they could have done differently or how they can resolve the situation.


Men and women can eliminate much frustration in their relationships by understanding each other‘s problem-solving strengths and using them to benefit one another. For instance, a woman can assist a man in resolving a problem with a coworker by talking through the difficulty with him and helping him to recognize the motivations and feelings involved. A man can help a woman come to a decision more quickly by acknowledging her feelings about a situation but also clearly outlining for her the facts and options involved. Taking into consideration both intuitive and factual information will help men and women to make better decisions.