THE BELITTLING TONGUE

The Belittling Tongue

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out

of your mouths, but only what is helpful for

building others up according to their needs,

that it may benefit those who listen.

Ephesians 4:29




Do people feel better about themselves after

spending time with you? Or are your expectations

so high that you focus on their shortcomings rather

than their assets? If someone speaks well of a person you envy, do you follow up with a disparaging

remark? Are you so insecure that you can only feel

good about yourself by denigrating others? “There-

fore encourage one another and build up one

another, just as you also are doing” (1 Thessalonians 5:11).




When we had a room expanded at our home, I

was fascinated by the use of the hammer. It was used in the demolition as well as the construction process.




Words are like that. They can tear down or they can

build. How do you use your words mostly? Is it your

normal behavior to build?

During your tongue fast, conquer belittling by

acting as if you are a cheerleader and a coach to your

family members, employees, coworkers, and others

in your sphere of interaction. Cheerleaders tell you

that you can do it; coaches tell you how to reach the

goal. They all have the same goal: They want you to

win!

Now, I know from experience that if you tend to

be one of those hard-driving, goal-oriented people,

coaching may be a challenge initially. Perhaps you

are from the school of thought that believes an

employee’s paycheck is encouragement enough—

especially if he is more than adequately compensated.

Beware! Thou art stuck in the stone ages and in dire

need of a mindset change. If you want to maximize

productivity, then learn how to build up your

employees. I have found that it is not my natural

inclination to want to coach poor performers; I just

want them out. In with the new superstars! What I

have learned is that a little positive affirmation, some

hand-holding, and lots of communication will

often yield the productivity and the loyalty that may

not accompany the cocky superstar.




Make it a habit to affirm your family members

and friends. Tell your wife she is the only woman for

you, express your appreciation for your husband’s

sense of responsibility, applaud your teenager for

avoiding drugs and alcohol, thank a friend for

keeping your secrets! Resist the temptation to con-

stantly “fix” something about them. Accept them as

they are and remember that you only have them for

a season.




Today’s Affirmation:

No unwholesome talk comes out of

my mouth, but only what is helpful for

building others up according to their

needs, that it may benefit those who



listen.