THE KNOW-IT-ALL TONGUE

The Know-It-All Tongue

A prudent man conceals knowledge.

Proverbs 12:23




Are you so all-knowing that you cannot refrain

from giving unsolicited input? Do you have an

unusually high regard for your opinion? Do you reg-

ularly use the expression, “You should…?” Please

allow me to gently remind you that most emotion-

ally healthy people will resent someone who always

assumes he knows what is best for them. We must

give people the benefit of the doubt in pursuing an

independent course of action. Even if you feel you

have earned the right to speak into someone’s life or

to give unsolicited advice, proceed with caution.

“Have you considered…?” sounds a lot less con-

trolling and will be more welcomed—especially by

men—than “You should…” Married women, take

heed! Real men aren’t looking for Mother. Right

before I got married, one of my spiritual mentors gave me a bit of advice.“We know you’re smart,” she

cautioned,“but don’t know everything. Let your hus-

band know some things sometimes.” I have heeded

this simple wisdom for more than a quarter of a cen-

tury with good results.




Even if you have knowledge and insight into a

certain situation, sometimes it’s prudent to keep

silent and give another the joy and fulfillment of

explaining it to you.“Wise people don’t make a show

of their knowledge” (Proverbs 12:23). Assuming

the role of the arrogant expert on almost every topic

is a sure indication of pride, which is repulsive

behavior to God and man.




How do you let go of that know-it-all tongue?

You can start by letting someone share information

with you that you already know—without letting

him know that you know it. This can be great

training in humility and emotional maturity. Often,

when my husband and I are about to make a large

purchase, such as a car, I chuckle within as the sales-person, usually a male, assumes I know nothing about finances. He proceeds to explain loan terms and other financial aspects of the deal. I go with the flow and watch his astonishment when he finds out that I am a certified public accountant with many years of experience. Of course, my husband stands there fighting the temptation to yell, “She already knows that!” I do it simply for practice in maintaining humility.




Even if you are brilliant but humble, your mere

presence may cause those with low self-esteem to feel inferior. Certainly, then, displaying intellectual

superiority will alienate others. Some people may

look for areas of weakness to “cut you down to size.”

If you tend to be a know-it-all, maybe you need

to do a little honest introspection. Is your display of

knowledge a smoke screen for insecurity? Are you

craving attention or appreciation because you are not getting it from the source you desire? When interacting with a group, you might want to actively listen to others, ask for their ideas, resist correcting or contradicting anybody, and limit your input to only one or two points. Your interpersonal relationships will improve when people feel that interacting with you has been a mutual sharing of ideas.




Today’s Affirmation:

I am prudent and therefore I do not

flaunt my knowledge.