THE MEDDLING TONGUE

The Meddling Tongue

Some of you are living idle lives,

refusing to work and wasting time

meddling in other people’s business.

2 Thessalonians 3:11




“Nosey Rosey” is the label that the people in my

hometown placed on those who were always prying

into or meddling in the affairs of others. While

mothers-in-law have the reputation for being

prime meddlers, they have not cornered the market

on this vice. Men, relatives, coworkers, and well-

meaning friends are also prone to prying from time

to time.




Unlike gossips, meddlers usually seek personal

information directly from their subjects. “How can

you afford such an expensive item?”“What size is the

dress you’re wearing?” “How much did you pay for

this house?”“How long can you afford to be off from

work?” These are the types of questions that serve


no other purpose than to satisfy an inquiring mind.

In all fairness, not everyone who makes inquiries is

meddling. Many are sincerely interested in helping

others.

Whether you are genuinely concerned or just

plain curious, be especially careful to avoid probing

questions when conversing with those who are ill.

“What did the doctor say about your condition?” Bad

question. It is best to wait for someone to volunteer

detailed information about his personal health.

If you are prone to natural curiosity, you must

make a special effort to keep your inquisitiveness

within the bounds of what is socially and spiritually

appropriate. In some situations you may have no

intentions of prying; however, you may still run the

risk of your inquisitiveness offending others.

My husband hates nosiness. I have to remind him

to be gracious in responding to queries about the

price of his personal purchases, such as a car or any

of his recreational “toys.” He will often respond,“Are

you planning to buy one?”When someone questions

me about the price of something, I will usually offer

a wide price range or jokingly say “somewhere

between one hundred and a million dollars.” I try

to be mindful of the fact that some individuals—and

even people of certain cultures—do not know that
others deem their queries as nosiness. Usually a

simple response such as, “I’m sorry, that’s confi-

dential” or “That’s personal” will be sufficient to stop

further probing.

The Bible offers an interesting perspective on

meddling: “He who passes by and meddles in a

quarrel not his own is like one who takes a dog by

the ears” (Proverbs 26:17). A dog’s ears are one

of the most sensitive parts of his body; if you pull

them, he may bite you. Likewise, when we stick our

noses where they do not belong, we may get a neg-

ative response. I have learned this from personal

experience. I had a relative who found herself in dire

financial straits. At her request, we sat together for

several hours and developed a plan for paying off her

debts and getting her back on track. Later, I helped

to orchestrate a deal that yielded her a significant

sum of money. When I reminded her to follow the

plan we had established, she became offended by

what she perceived as my intrusion into her business.

She reminded me that she was not a child and could

manage her affairs just fine! I was devastated, for I

knew I had pure motives with no intentions of med-

dling. The moral of the story is, even if you feel you

have earned the right to stick your nose into a situ-

ation, walk softly. You might want to pray about it first and leave the matter to God. He is always better

at influencing circumstances than we are.

If you are a parent, some meddling is certainly

in order to keep your inexperienced, live-at-home

children from going down the wrong path. Don’t be

afraid of their negative attitudes or their rejection.

In the final analysis, most of them will appreciate

your intervention. If your children have reached

adulthood, try to accept the fact that grown-ups do

not need parenting. The law of sowing and reaping

the consequences of bad decisions is still one of the

most effective teachers of life’s lessons. Give them

space to learn.

If you are indeed a genuine meddler, know that

God does not consider your nose-poking a small

matter. He classifies this sin—yes, sin—with murder

and stealing.

If you suffer, however, it must not be for

murder, stealing, making trouble, or prying

into other people’s affairs (1 Peter 4:15).

When tempted to meddle, why not engage in a

little self-interrogation? Ask yourself, “Do I have a

sincere, unselfish motive for prying into this matter,

or am I attempting to control things for my desired objectives?” Someone once said that one reason why people who mind their own business are successful is that they have so little competition. Think about that!




Today’s Affirmation

I am genuinely interested in others and

only seek information from them

that will allow me to serve, love, and

support them better